SATURDAY, JULY 04, 2020
On Trump’s 1261st Day In Office
The Four Horsemen Will Ride Again
At yesterday’s meeting of the Anderson Apocalypse, everybody agreed that voters of Anderson Township now had exactly the kind of school board they deserved, the Apocalypse would not be disbanding any time soon, and a lot of work still needed to be done.
But first, we needed to update the names of the Four Horsemen, who rode white, red, black, and pale horses: symbolizing plague, war, famine, and death. We’ll need to give them names and faces for our upcoming publicity campaign.
Four of the Forest Hills Five caved into Radical Leftist Demands and voted to murder our Beloved Anderson Redskin. What a coincidence. That’s the same number as the Horsemen. That means we’d have to assign each board member one of the Horsemen’s names. We’ll have to form a holy renaming committee, just like Forest Hills is doing to select a new name for the murdered mascot.
Forest Hills is going to have a tough time deciding which board member gets Plague, War, and Famine. But we all agree who deserves to be called “Death.” That person’s career in elected politics is already deceased.
Remember The Redskin!