Special “Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest” E-dition

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SATURDAY, MAY 02, 2020


At Least Little Jack Horner Pulled Out A Plum

This week, everybody who’s still bored staying home, wearing a mask, keeping safe distances during the current coronavirus crisis, and getting all pissed off impatiently waiting for his already-spent Really Big $1,200 Check, personally signed by The Trumpster himself, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted Conservative Sex Therapist, Richard “Just Call Me Dick” Head (wearing his new N95 Face Mask) who says he’s sure The Trumpster would never bring up Biden’s Faulty Fingering more than 100 times during each debate.

Dick Head wins an autographed nude picture of Fingerin’ Joe, a “Sex Therapists Make Better Lovers” T-Shirt, and a Skype Interview with “Trish The Dish” from his basement on Channel 19 so he can show off his new T-Shirt.

His winning limerick is:
Will Biden’s Sex Assault Charges Ever Go Away?
He hoped it would lead to a lay
Sticking his hand in her pants
He called it Romance
Hoping she’d think it’s foreplay.

Perturbed In Park Hills Goes Into It A Little Further
Will Biden’s Sex Assault Charges Ever Go Away?
Is this his poor substitute for rolling in the hay?

His recurrent campaign thing is to grope and to sniff,
Which makes me wonder if he’s unable to get stiff.

The old Pants-Dropper-in-Chief claimed he never inhaled,
But inhaling hair is Joe’s thing, some women have wailed.

And what kind of pervert touches forehead to forehead?
Can this Eskimo only rub noses while in bed?

We think “Sleepy Joe” has a secondary meaning:
His Tower of Pisa does a bit too much leaning.

Perhaps he’s been snorting too much of Hunter’s cocaine,
So his get up and go has disappeared down the drain.

Maybe he should make a pass at Michael Michelle O;
To see if he she can encourage something to grow.

(Stranger things have happened in the sick world of D-RATS –
The party of Satanic pedophile bureaucrats.)

Joe, forget the bad odds in November’s election,
Better figure out first how to get an erection.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“This Sunday Will Be Your Mother’s Day”

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