WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2019
Trump’s 971st Day In Office
Next Tuesday Will Be National Voter Registration Day
Hurley the Historian says every year millions of Americans don’t vote because they missed a registration deadline or didn’t know how to register. In 2019, we want to make sure no one is left out. So next Tuesday, as volunteers, celebrities, and organizations from all over Anderson Township are “hitting the streets” on National Voter Registration Day, The Blower, as the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, will be asking all our persons of consequence to do a couple of things.
This Feel Good Pseudo Event of coordinated ﬁeld, technology, and media efforts will presumably create pervasive awareness of voter registration opportunities–allowing the do-gooders to reach tens of thousands of voters whom they couldn’t reach otherwise.
Meanwhile, The Blower, as the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, is asking all our persons of consequence to do a couple of things.
First, take a moment to check over your own voter registration here. You can’t vote if you’re not registered.
Second, use the same voter registration here link to find out if your friends are registered to vote. Type in your friend’s First Name, Last Name, County, and hit “Search.” It doesn’t get any easier than that.
Third, if your friend is a Republican, make sure you tell him to register at his local Board of Elections.
Fourth, if you even suspect your friend could in any way possibly be a Disingenuous D-RAT, DO NOT TELL HIM TO REGISTER TO VOTE. That son of a bitch is obviously irresponsible and he’s patently too freaking stupid to be allowed anywhere near a voting booth.
This is your Official “National Voter Registration Day” Notice.
Any other “National Voter Registration Day you may see anywhere else is obviously fake.