This Sunday in America…
… at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking Political Parishioners to thank God for American Workers on Labor Day tomorrow, since the latest Bureau of Labor Statistics jobs report shows a record number of Employed Americans, with The President’s Labor Day Proclamation begins with:
“On Labor Day, we recognize the remarkable American workers who comprise the greatest labor force in the world. American workers are the heart and soul of our Nation’s economic resurgence. Since my first day in office, I have followed through on my promise to fight for an agenda that puts American workers first.” (READ MORE HERE)
AFL-CIO Organizers are praying for some really important big name speakers to blame The Trumpster for Mass Shootings in Texas, Climate Change causing Hurricane Dorian of the East Coast, and not doing nearly enough to help American Workers at tomorrow’s Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Union Daze Picnic at Coney Island, but most of the Dumbed-Down DemocRAT Union Members are just praying for more FREE Stuff.
Religious Zealots at Citizens for Community Values are praying to be able to enjoy the fruits of their own labor. It would also be nice not to have to hear about the supposed gender gap in pay, especially from people who don’t believe in genders in the first place.
Investor’ Prayers were answered, because U.S. financial markets will be closed for Labor Day on Monday, Sept. 2, giving U.S. investors a welcome three-day weekend after a volatile August for stocks and other assets.
Reds fans have been praying this season would be over for a long time, and Bungals Fans are for a better fate than last year,
Yesterday was a good day for Ohio State, as the Buckeyes opened the 2019 college football season with a 45-21 win against Florida Atlantic. But for two former Scarlet and Gray quarterbacks, things did not go as well as on the NFL’s roster deadline day. On Saturday the Los Angeles Chargers reportedly cut quarterback Cardale Jones and wide receiver Braxton Miller was waived by the Cleveland Browns.
Right-to-Lifers are praying for the government to defund the Baby-Killers at Planned Parenthood.
Scared Suburbanites are praying they don’t get assaulted by roaming bands of Black yoofs at tonight’s Pollution Fest downtown tonight.
#BlackLivesDon’tMeanCrap Thugs are praying for more Black Criminals to be shot by White Police Officers to justify starting more riots during the Trump Administration..
Police Officers hereabouts are praying for the families across America of all those officers killed by mass shooters, knowing we they won’t be the last, while in Congress, Pelosi and Schumer called for more meaningless gun control, knowing full well it wouldn’t be their last time, either.
Finally, we should all be praying for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, because those people are so Incredibly Stupid.
Praying for all of those poor misguided people is really such a religious experience, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane explained: “Because every time you think about them, you search your soul and say to yourself, Jesus H. Christ, WTF were those stupid people thinking.”