Special “Remembering Harambe” E-dition

FRIDAY, MAY 31, 2019
Trump’s 861st Day In Office

At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Our Always Politically Correct Local Kneepad Liberals hadn’t honored Harambe on the third anniversary of his murder earlier this week.

Black People Were Crying “Racism” After Harambe The Gorilla Was Shot and Killed to Save A Boy Who’d Fallen Into The Gorilla Exhibit  At The Cincinnati Zoo.

Kane remembers last year’s “Gorilla Lives Matter” E-dition when The Blower exclusively reported that big Gorilla Lives Matter protest for the killing of Harambe at the Cincinnati Zoo after the Drudge Report said the murdered Gorilla-American had been seen protecting a child.

The next day The Fishwrap confirmed investigators were “looking at the facts and circumstances” that led a four-year-old boy to end up in the moat surrounding the Cincinnati Zoo’s gorilla exhibit. Lt. Steve Saunders said “it’s too early to say whether it was recklessness on the part of the parent.” But Hamilton County Prosecutor “Jaywalking Joe” Deters said after the police investigation was completed, his office would “confer with” police about possible criminal charges.

In the beginning, Our Always Politically Correct Local Kneepad Liberals In The Press withheld any mention about the race of the child or his parents, which might have been a pretty good idea, since the most ludicrous objections for killing Harambe came from those morons who actually believed the Gorilla-American had been killed because of “Racism.”

BizPac Review said Conservative author and commentator Mark Dice uncovered some of the most outrageous tweets, including a slew that referred to the child as a “white boy” and one that called the killing an act of “white privilege.” At that time Dice pointed out in his video the race of the child was still unknown. But it has since been reported by several news organizations that the child is, in fact, Black. [READ MORE HERE]

Even funnier was when Dice reported that it was a Black Man in a Gorilla Suit who ran on the football Field during the Bears-Lions game wearing an “All Lives Matter” T-shirt.

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So why didn’t our Feckless Fishwrappers make a BFD about Honoring Harambe? Wouldn’t that have made a great “Racial Justice” story? “Not with all that great publicity The Fishwrap was giving Judge “Gizzy Lizzy,” Jack Greiner, and ‘JayWalking Joe’ Deters at the Tensing Re-Trial,” Kane explained.

This year, our Feckless Fishwrappers would no doubt once again be joining other Trump Haters in the media and blaming President Trump for Roseanne’s little racist tweet about Obama’s African American co-conspirator Valerie Jarrett’s being the lovechild of the Muslim Brotherhood and the “Planet of the Apes.”

Not even “Planet of the Apes” characters wanted to be compared to, or even be associated with Valerie Jarrett, and who can blame them? 

More Gorilla Lives Matter News Later