Special “Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest” E-dition

FRIDAY, APRIL 19, 2018
Trump’s 819th Day In Office


Budget Fudge-Its
This week, everybody who thinks D-RATS should be paying that $35 million pissed away on The Mueller Hoax, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. The winner is noted Conservative Budget Director Stockman Tadwell, who says “Sequester this!”

Stockman wins an online Budget Simulator that’s so simple even a 12-year-old child can make it work, a commemorative list of all that waste fraud and abuse in Washington you always hear so much about, and a pair of ceremonial Congressional Budget Cutting Scissors that have never been used. His winning limerick is:

Government spending really hasn’t been cut,
That term’s misleading more than somewhat
Only the increase is reduced
You should’ve already deduced
The spending spigot will never be shut.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who says there’d be no trouble controlling government spending if his wife was in charge of balancing the Budget):

Government spending really hasn’t been cut,
Our country’s economy’s in a rut,
Our deficit’s over 16 trillion
So what’s a few hundred million?
I’d like to kick Obama in his butt.

There are so many places in the government budget
Any objective CPA could easily judge it.
But rather than fix it
They’ll try to deep six it
And not tell the truth, but fudge it.

The truth is easy to discern,
Except for those who are too dumb to learn
We spend more than we make
That’s obvious, for Pete’s sake!
Some day, we’re all going to burn

What we spend on defense is a given
And Social Security is economy-driven
Entitlements are too high
Let’s cut back on the free pie
And stop encouraging welfare/food-stamp livin’

But the biggest reason we are in dire straits
Is that jobs have left the United States
We’re no longer the leader
Now we’re an assistance needer
(Except for Warren Buffet and Bill Gates).

We need to be honest and admit
What has happened to put us in this pit,
Not to be repetitive
But we’re no longer competitive
China has us in very deep shit.

Finally, Perturbed In Park Hills Says
Government spending really hasn’t been cut:
There’s always new pork to pull out of their butt.
They like to rule the over-taxed payers
By having bureaucracy in layers,
Leaving us in a chronic financial rut.

From Swedish massages for rabbits,
To Tweeting at terrorist habits;

Develop and market Alpaca poop?
What an innovative government scoop!

Funding a Symphony for stoners?
One of those routine government boners.

Have you seen the “Zombie in Love” movie?
To depressed teens it was supposed to be groovy.

Tired of this loony government waste?
Then the TEA party is more to your taste.

To kill this elephant in the room,
Voters need a shovel and a broom.

(NOTE: Perturbed got his examples from this one of Sen. Coburn’s reports on gov’t waste:


The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Here’s how to have fun on Cinco de Mayo”