WEDNESDAY, MARCH 13, 2019
Trump’s 782nd Day In Office
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Everybody’s ready to celebrate “Political Backstabbers Day” Friday on the Ides of March to commemorate that historic date in 44 BCE when Brutus and the rest of the RINOs in the Senate stabbed Roman Emperor Julius Caesar in the back, the front, and just about every other place on his body. —Hurley the Historian
People are already sending in their nominations for “Political Backstabber of the Year.” —Backstabber of the Year Selection Committee
Will The Blower be calling me a Backstabber every day for the way everyone in my administration is still trying to sabotage the Trump administration?—Emperor Obama
I second that nomination. —Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu
Don’t forget all those Jewish voters who still voted for Crooked Hillary —The Trumpster
Could we nominate each other? —Ex-Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka and Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters
Us too? —Nick Nadel and The Windbag
I don’t need anybody to stab me in the back. I can do that all by myself. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
I’ve already agreed once again to be Grand Marshal at the Backstabbers Day Parade on March 15, where I’ll be leading the Streetcar Six along the route of the Trolley Folly. —Cincinnati Clown-cilman David Mann
Are they giving group awards this year to the Gang of Five? —Chris Finney and Brian Shrive
Backstabbing gives a hole new meaning to “I’ve got your back.” —Cincinnati Clown-cilgay Chris Squealback
Former Citizens for Community Values President Phil Burr-ass is a big Homophobe Backstabber. —Rob “Fighting for the Gayness” Portman
Would I be nominated just because I’ve never explained exactly how my office came up with its so-called Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that you were forced to pay even before your Board of Revisions Hearing? —Hamilton County’s Double-Dipping Disingenuous Auditor
The Guys at Gannett are all Backstabbers after they threw me out on my whiny ass. —Skaggie Maggie, Former Fishwrap Publisher
Even Kneepad Liberals in the Press are stabbing me in the back these days over a couple of ongoing investigations. —Crooked Hillary
Is there a separate category for “Backstabbers in Broadcasting?” —Your Former WLW Hate Radio Snitch
Chippy Gerhardt says everybody in the Anderson Township Republican Club is a backstabber. — Disgraced Former State Rep-tile Peter $tautberg, named by Ohio Governor Kasich- to fill a vacancy on the Ohio 1st District Court of Appeals.
We’re trying to give up backstabbing for lent. —Catholic Backstabbers
Would somebody who’s spreading rumors at City Hall about John Cranley’s attempts to get rid of Ex-City Manager Harry Black having an affair be a Backstabber? —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
Thanks for last year’s Backstabber of the Year Nomination when I caved in to the Disingenuous DemocRATS every chance I got. —GOP Senate Surrender Leader Bitch McConnell
You can tell Disgraced Ex-House Speaker John Boehner was a Backstabber by how much blood he still has on his hands, after he told House Republicans “We All Need To Be Team Players And Support Each Other.” —Photo Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper
All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from News Liars at The Destroy Trump Media, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, also stabbed us in the back. —American Over-Taxed Payers
Maybe that’s why we chose “While you’re talking behind my back, feel free to bend down and kiss my ass.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the biggest backstabber of all? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
In Northern Kentucky, Political Backstabbing isn’t even a misdemeanor. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
Our place wouldn’t be big enough to hold them all. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
If you’re an elected official in Northern Kentucky, you might be a backstabber. —Jeff Foxworthy
Every member of the Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Me (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) is a backstabber. —Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Won’t They Let Me Practice Law Again, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters
On the Ides of March, Political Backstabbers drink free. —Mainstrasse Bartenders
Recovering Backstabbers are always welcome. —Backstabbers Anonymous
See you there. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan Cornbread Smith
Thanks for finally plugging my son George’s “Ides of March” movie now that everybody can watch it on cable for free. —Nick Clooney
What’s the best part about the Ides of March on March 15? It means BB&BJ Day on March 20 is only five days away. —Our good friend Bobby Leach
Everybody’s wondering why I’m having an Ides of March Party on Friday, instead of my customary more traditional St. Patrick’s Day Party on Sunday —Miss Vicki
Some people called me a Backstabber when I wore my Trump “Keep America Great” Hat to to have my taxes done at the AARP Tax-Aide place this morning. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Hey, Everybody… “Trish the Dish” wants to know what happened to all the clocks. —TV 19 News
Trish probably forgot to tell everybody to forget to change the batteries in their smoke detectors without my still being at that station to remind her. —WCPO-TV’s Helicopter Guy Dan Carroll
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Pornographers.
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only 643 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Political Backstabbing to show that “hypocrisy and insincerity” are not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t working on a political campaign.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Political Consultants
BACKSTABBER OF THE YEAR HOT LINE
e-mail your noxious nominations today.
Some backstabbing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally backstabbing subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Mansplaining Women’s History Month
Published on Mar 3, 2013: A PSA about Women’s History Month by men.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.