MONDAY, MARCH 04, 2019
Trump’s 773rd Day In Office
Because Something Really Awful Happened On Today’s Date
EVERY YEAR AT THE MARCH 4 MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders can expect Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to explain the Debt Ceiling. “I love it when a complicated situation can be explained in such simple terms,” Kane said. “DemocRATS don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING. Republicans don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING. Libertarians don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING. Not even the TEA Party understands THE DEBT CEILING, so please allow me to explain once more time.”
“Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood. Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings. What do you think you should do, raise the ceiling or pump out all the shit? Your choice is coming at the 2018 Congressional Elections in 247 days on November 6. Don’t miss the opportunity.”
So what’s so special about March 4? That’s when our Beloved Publisher went downstairs to open the Whistleblower Office on March 4, 2015, and he found the entire basement under water. Coincidence? We think not!
But thanks to the friendly folks at the Anderson Township Fire Department who pumped out the water, Mike and Brian at the Sewer Response Back Up Team who assessed the problem, Ron and Darryl at Anderson Hills Plumbing who augured out the drains, Rick Lawson at Lawson’s Heating to make sure the furnace was safe, our wonderful next door neighbors Bob and Cathy Drake to help set up some fans, Dan Conn the Cable God at Time Warner Business Class to re-install our phones and restore our internet connection, Safeco Insurance Adjuster Michael Simon, Judy Steelman at Globe Insurance, and Darrin and Rob at Teasdale Fenton to begin the extensive restoration process at the Whistleblower’s World Headquarters. Amazingly, the next day on March 5, 2015, The Blower was back in business.
Let’s See If The Same Thing Happens Tomorrow