SUNDAY, JANUARY 6, 2018
Trump’s 716th Day In Office
Is The Schumer Shutdown Over Yet?
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the Schumer Shutdown is a real Nothingburger. Voters are overwhelmingly aware that there’s a partial shutdown of the federal government, but so far at least it isn’t bothering them. Just two percent (2%) of Likely U.S. Voters say the shutdown hasn’t started yet, and another 11% think it’s been going for less than a week.
And in Friday’s Top Ten List, we all learned the Number One Way You Know The Inmates Have Taken Over The Asylum At The Most Dysfunctional House Of Representatives In US History: MSNBC Gushes Over “Historic Figure” Pelosi, “Poised to Make History Again,” Build On Her Wisdom.
C-Span is not sure they’ll be covering the first floor speech from First-Ever-Palestinian-American Michigan D-RAT Rashida Tlaib (the one with the altered map trying to eliminate Israel), who dishonored herself by using profanity when she victoriously shouted to a cheering audience that she will “impeach the MOTHERFUCKER” Trump, then ran scared from reporters asking her if she stood by her comments.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today, Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, is wangling for an invitation to Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s Surprise Birthday Party, which is probably why he included it in his “Erotic Birthday Greetings,” available at better sticky-pages bookstores everywhere.
Birthday Greetings From a Grouch
I hear you’re having a birthday,
But I know not which one.
I do know that, however,
You’re too old to have any fun.
Tho once your hopes were high,
You’re now forced to aim them lower.
All you can do is sit on your ass,
And write that damned Whistleblower.
Note: Mrs. Kane enthusiastically assisted in the preparation of this poem.
HAMILTON COUNTY TREASURER ROBERT A. GOERING says, “Please tell your Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Happy Birthday, since we’ll be mailing his re-estate tax bill tomorrow.”
“MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT says, “Folks who showed up at my Christmas Party at Jack Casino didn’t understand why I’m only running for John Becker’s term-limited State office, instead of Federal office where The Blower helped make me famous.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read the “Juanito Rameriez Story.”
LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE TITLED “The Eyes Have It” by James Jay Schifrin first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 30, 1981, and was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER wonders whatever happened to all those Cincinnati City Hall text messages COAST attorneys have been expecting to be turned over that would prove that cabal of five rogue Cincinnati Council members: Chris Seelbach, Tamaya Dennard, Wendell Young, Greg Landsman, and Alexander Paul George “PG” Sittenfeld from conducting secret, illegal meetings in violation of the Cincinnati City Charter and Ohio’s Sunshine Law. You can read that complaint HERE.
LIBERAL LUNACY: : In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” ,” # 360 is to ask a Liberal what’s the difference between DemocRATS in Congress and a group of drunken sailors. Answer: About a trillion dollars.
GOING GALT: The phrase “Going Galt” doesn’t simply mean getting angry. “Going Galt” means recognizing that you’re being punished not for your vices but for your virtues.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Washington will be as chaotic – if not more – in 2019 than it was in 2018. As the 2020 presidential election approaches and presidential contenders to President Trump begin to line up this month, a wide range of issues will be in play for all voters to digest. Below we highlight those that we believe will be the most impactful for the new year. Buckle up.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, especially all those greedy people waiting for all that free stuff from Nancy Pelosi’s Most Dysfunctional House of Representatives in American history.
Free Grain Party Members include all Socialist-DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were definitely not asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about his Surprise Birthday Party on Monday, because he’s not supposed to know about.
The reason it wasn’t a surprise last year was when the Whistleblower interns put up all those banners and decorations a week early. And the large sign in the front yard was a dead giveaway, too.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that are due on January 31. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us how.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
TUESDAY (JANUARY 8) we’ll all be enjoying The Blower’s Annual Elvis’ Birthday E-dition.
WEDNESDAY, (JANUARY 9) Persons of Consequence will be checking to see if their long-awaited jacked-up Hamilton County Property Tax Bills have finally arrived.
THURSDAY (JANUARY 10) we’ll be checking to see how many other members of Nancy Pelosi’s Most Dysfunctional House Of Representatives in History have called Trump a Motherfucker.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JANUARY 11) LIMERICK IS: “So what should Conservatives do now?”
AND SATURDAY (JANUARY 12) everybody will be waiting to see if our newest Seediest Kid of all could be a little girl waif.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Videos of the WeekIf Walls Don’t Work, Why Does Obama Have a Wall Around his House?
A Look Back At The Anti-Trump Resistance In 2018
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of the mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call The Fishwrap.