Special “Conservative Agenda” E-dition

Trump’s 671st Day In Office

Today’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda


At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were applauding Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for The Blower’s Commemorative “Kennedy Assassination” E-dition, where The Blower said absolutely nobody in Cincinnati would be surprised if our Feckless Fishwrappers forgot to mention JFK’s Assassination on their front page today and Hurley the Historian said, “Today I’m sad to live in a country where everybody isn’t remembering where they were at 12:30 PM Central Standard Time in 1963, when President Kennedy was assassinated.” 

There were, however, a few complaints, like the one from Freddie Factchecker who said whoever painted that picture of Kennedy after the shooting didn’t do much research! At Zapruder frame 313, Kennedy’s head was torn apart by a bullet. The massive explosion, caused by a pressure cavity in the brain tissue, blew brain matter in all directions. Motorcycle cop Bobby Hargis, riding to Kennedy’s left and a bit behind him, was hit by matter blown out of Kennedy’s skull. 

What The Blower should’ve said was that the feel good painting showed how the assassination is remembered in “Camelot.”  The graphic photo, however, shows how it really should be remembered.

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