MONDAY, AUGUST 20, 2018
Trump’s 577th Day In Office
What a Difference a Year Makes
Think of how much things have really changed since this time in August, 2017: The Counter in the Lower Right Hand Corner of the Whistleblower WEB PAGE had almost clicked off all of the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until you could burn your eyes out by looking directly at that day’s over-hyped Solar Eclipse.
And Our Feckless Fishwrappers Were Trying To Tell You Where To Watch The Solar Eclipse For Free Around Greater Cincinnati
Amazingly, The Answer Was Not “Anywhere Outside”
Police And Hospitals Were Bracing For Large Crowds During Today’s Solar Eclipse
There Were A Zillion Solar Eclipse Videos That Day
And Memes Like These
We’ll See Solar Eclipse Fake News
And Solar Eclipse Jokes Like This One From The Simpsons
A Solar Eclipse is like a woman breast feeding in a restaurant. It’s free, it’s beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it.
Finally In Anderson, our Ex-TownshipTrustee says in just a few hours he would be able to tell us if you’ll really go blind if you masturbate during the eclipse.
This Has Been Your Official “Solar Eclipse” E-dition.
Any Other “Solar Eclipse” E-dition You Might’ve Seen Was Surely A Fake