FRIDAY, AUGUST 10, 2018
Trump’s 567th Day In Office
Searching For An Honest Politician
Political Liars are really off to the races in those all-important 2018 Elections in only 88 more days, especially after Tim Black, the same Liberal Whacko Judge who ruled in favor of Same Sex Marriage, also ruled in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns. Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud begins in Ohio on October 10, but Dishonest D-RATS are encouraged to wait to do that on November 6. Unfortunately, there is no Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud Season in Kentucky, probably because Kentucky is an “Election Free State” this year.
Greedy Ad Salesmen will soon be celebrating, too. They can hardly wait for the really nasty Negative Political Advertising to begin in the Buckeye Gubernatorial Race.
Our Feckless Fishwrappers, who agree with all of Judge Black’s Liberal Rulings, say, “What’s the hurry? We still have 88 more days until November 7 to begin reporting about all of Finney’s Fibbers, who’re already taking advantage of their legal right to lie.
How else are all those Dumbed-Down, Totally-Trump-Deranged, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, supposed to know which Liberal Candidate to choose this year.
Note: How honest was Disingenuous Diminutive DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley that time he proposed big fat raises for Cincinnati Police and Firefighters (who would surely vote for his re-election), undercutting his own City Manager and City Council, who had just successfully negotiated long-term union contracts with those same Police and Firefighters?
Is The Blower still continuing to look for an Honest Politician? You bet! As the official publication of record for all that political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the Tri-state, our readers expect nothing less. Today, Award Winning Illustrator Artis Conception’s Archives shows us Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Diogenes Foster Kane searching for the Truth many years ago at Cincinnati City Hall.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than the Honest Politician we found, Clint Webb who’s running for Senate in 2018. Instead of informing voters about his political plans, ideas, and examples of great leadership, Webb explains what it is about his appearance, family, and other seemingly unrelated political topics that make him perfect for the Senate. Webb is even more honest than “Honest Gil” Fulbright, the Fake U.S. Senate Candidate who was not really running against Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes and Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell in Kentucky in 2014. Now you see where the unsuccessful 2014 Republican Hamilton County Auditor Candidate got the idea for his campaign video.
Which is why The Blower is honored to choose our next Senator to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors that you probably won’t see reported in your Morning Fishwrap.
SITTING AT A STOP LIGHT by Rhoades Rager
I was sitting at a Red light yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn Green even though there was no on-coming traffic.
A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half- burned American Flag duct-taped to the boot lid of their car and a “Remember 9-11” slogan, spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, “Allah Akhbar!” and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere a bus came speeding through the intersection rand ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, “Thank God! That could have been me !”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a bus driver.
“TEACHING MATH” by Whistleblower Education Editor Rod Sparechild
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her just to give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
Teaching Math In 1950s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990s: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s OK.)
Teaching Math In 2009: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
Teaching Math In 2014: Who cares, just steal the lumber from your rich neighbor’s property. He won’t have a gun to stop you, and the President says it’s OK anyway cuz it’s redistributing the wealth.
Teaching Math In 2050: هاتشيرو تبيع كارلواد من نهاب 1 00 دولار
. تكلفة الإنتاج هو 80 دولاراً . كيف الكثير من المال ولم؟
“MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE” by Ben Bliss
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress-$5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Finally, you can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators…YEP!!!
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it, and to the men who will enjoy reading it
AND A QUICKIE By Politically Correct Sportscaster Bob Costas
Today, the owner of the Washington Redskins, Dan Snyder, announced that the team has agreed unanimously to change their name, after receiving so much national controversy.
This, from Mr. Snyder: “Today, we made the decision to agree to change the name of our team. Instead of “Washington Redskins”, we will now be legally known as “REDSKINS.” (We removed the name ‘Washington’, as it was too embarrassing.)”
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Stories We’re Working On
TRUMP’S Legal Team On Offense
HOW LONG Can Mueller’s Witch Hunt Last?
TARGETING The Trump Campaign
UNCOVERING The Deep State
WHEN Will Congress Do Something?
WILL It Be Crooked Hillary’s Turn Soon?
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Federal Judge Michael Barrett still hasn’t put Lois Lerner in Jail:
(A) Wanted to party more with Mr. and Mrs. $tan Chesley: 2%
(B) Didn’t think anybody would remember he used to be Hamilton County Republican Chairman: 1%
(C) His Liberal Anchorbabe Wife talked him into it: 1%
(D) Didn’t imagine anybody would ever find out about it: 96%
Honest Politician Hot Line
E-mail your nebulous nominations today
Some Honest Politician items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Honest subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Clint Webb for Senate Campaign Commercial
(Sent in by The Whitest Kids You Know)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.