FRIDAY, JUNE 8, 2018
Trump’s 504th Day In Office
We’re Really Hoping For A Sunny Day
Right now everybody in the Whistleblower Newsroom is focused on the counter on the wall clicking off the hours, minutes, and seconds until “Walk Naked in Anderson Day” tomorrow at 1 PM Eastern Daylight time.
Yesterday, as you may remember, Whistleblower Naked News Correspondent Oliver Klozhoff told us it’s a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide, so tomorrow at 1 PM Eastern Daylight time, all Patriotic and Redskins Mascot-Loving Women will be walking out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists by circling their block for at least an hour in this anti-terrorist effort.
Meanwhile, at the Whistleblower Weather Center, our Nearly Naked Weather Girl says tomorrow’s weather should be wonderful, so all Aroused Andersonian men will be positioned in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Radical Islamic Terrorist sympathizers.
And since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side, would be further proof of your patriotism.
Trustee Andy Pappas says Anderson Township will appreciate everyone’s efforts to root out terrorists and applauds everyone’s participation in this anti-terrorist activity. Andy also says to tell the ladies not to forget to use plenty of sunscreen.