THURSDAY, MARCH 15, 2018
There’s A Whole Lot of Backstabbing Going On
The Blower’s friends at Backstabbers.com define “Backstabbing” as attacking someone unfairly, especially in an underhanded, deceitful manner. Backstabbing was first mentioned in historical literature with reference to Julius Caesar and Brutus – a conflict that was memorialized by William Shakespeare with his notable quote “Beware the Ides of March….” Since that first documented backstabbing the act has been perfected as an art form. Most of us know of at least one Backstabber and some of us are unlucky enough to have to deal with many of them on a daily basis. (Bosses, “Best Friends,” Spouses, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, or even Gayfriends.) Today we find ourselves surrounded by public backstabbers in Politics. That’s why we all needed to nominate all those Backstabbing Bastards for The Whistleblower’s Annual Backstabber Awards that we’ll announce tonight at the Backstabbers Ball on Backstabbers Day (The Ides of March).
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says Benedict Arnold was a very promising colonial general during the American Revolution. Much to his displeasure, however, he was passed over for promotion by the Continental Congress in 1777 in spite of a sterling record and an honorably wounded leg. When he was given command of West Point in 1780, Arnold finalized his plans to not only defect, but also surrender his fortress to the British for the price of £20,000. Benedict Arnold was the original American Backstabber.
Then there’s the well-known story of Judas Iscariot, one of the earliest and least popular accountants of all time, teaching us that even the nicest of guys have to watch their backs. And sides.
Until January 20, 2009 in America. That’s when Obama became our Backstabber-in-Chief. Is Obama really a backstabber? Just ask the Trumpster and any of America’s allies. We’re learning more about Obama’s crimes every day. He’ll still be stabbing the entire United States of America in the back every day he’s not in jail.
TODAY’S TONGUE TWISTER: “How many stabs could a backstabber stab if a backstabber could stab backs?” tongue twister?
And have you ever noticed how we’ve all become more familiar with the term “thrown under the bus” since Barack Hussein Obama became our President?
BACKSTABBING PRESIDENT TRUMP became a national sport during the 2016 Campaign and continues until this very day.
BLUEGRASS BACKSTABBERS: Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders says unfortunately, political backstabbing isn’t even a misdemeanor. “It’s a good thing,” said Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl. “Our place wouldn’t be big enough to hold them all.”
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about all those Backstabber nominations The Blower’s been receiving, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “God must really like Backstabbers, because he made so many of them.”
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only one websites for the production of today’s Blower. (This time we only plagiarized ourselves!)
BACKSTABBER BALLOTS HOT LINE
e-mail your nastiest nominations today.