Blackness is Only Skin Deep

This week, everybody who thinks the best part about Black Lives Really, Really Matter History Month is when it’s over, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. The winner is noted nerd Wigger Whiteass, who says acting Black is really cool.

Wigger wins a generous supply of Jungle Fever Tanning Cream courtesy of Judge P-P-P-Patrick DeWhine; free joint memberships in COAST and the Cincinnati Chapter of National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People (NAALCP) from Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney and SMLP Smithermouth; and a guest appearance on  Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston’s Belligerent Black Blog, His winning limerick is:

This month we study Black History;
How they all got so dark is a mystery!
We honkies sit in the sun,
Till the long day is done,
And just get all reddish and blistery!

The Windbag Writes
This month we study black history
Why we do it remains a big mystery.
We don’t do it for others,
(And I wouldn’t, if I had my druthers)
But PC pressure is VERY persist-ory.

This month we study Black History
It’s all about cultural diversity.
Are all people of color
Now walking much taller,
Or is this just more race card perversity?

This month we study Black History.
For Revrum Jesse, it’s more free publicity.
Though his achievements are jack
He compensates in the sack,
For his marriage vows have a certain elasticity.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked and now has something to tell the padre at this week’s confession):

This month we study black history
No other type of ethnic category
Forget Europeans
Japanese or Koreans
Why we do this is really no mystery.

We must be politically correct,
But if I’m allowed to be direct
It makes me a bit heated
The way some people get treated
To racial partiality I object.

Why don’t we do the same for Chinese
Cambodians or Vietnamese?
Are blacks more important
Than the whole human assortment?
Why do we have to appease?

Oh, it’s all coming clear to me now
It’s the only way we really know how
To clear our good name
For slavery’s shame
Affirmative action’s a big sacred cow.

A hundred and fifty years ago, Mr. Lincoln
Knowing full well what he was thinkin’
Freed all the slaves
From the slave-holding knaves
But apparently the memory is still stinkin’

The truth is remarkably clear
No former slaves are now here
Slavery is dead
Can’t we move ahead?
Maybe Obama will buy us a beer.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Here’s why Real Republicans like TEA”

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Racial Racketeers.