WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2018
The Whistleblower’s Garrulous Grammarian Says…
At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were congratulating Beloved Whistleblower Charles Foster Kane about The Blower’s coverage of how Doofus DemocRAT Congressman Schiff-For-Brains (the ranking DemocRAT on the House Intelligence Committee) was stupid enough to fall for a prank phone call by Russian comedians who offered to give him “compromising” dirt on Donald Trump – including nude photos of the president and a Russian reality show star.
“The best part,” Kane explained, “was how we were able to introduce our Official Whistleblower Nickname (Schiff-For-Brains) for the ranking DemocRAT on the House Intelligence Committee. We’re going to make this guy famous.”
The difficulty, of course was deciding which “Schiff Phrase” to use, because according to our Funk N Wagnals, there’s a real “Schiff Pot” full of them.
For example, besides our egregious excrement “Schiff,” we have: Take A “Schiff,” Holy “Schiff,” Jack “Schiff,” “Schiff” Hole, When The “Schiff” Hits The Fan, Hot “Schiff,” “Schiff” Happens, Dog “Schiff,” Full Of “Schiff,” No “Schiff,” Bat “Schiff,” Crock Of “Schiff,” “Schiff” Faced, Tough “Schiff,” Up “Schiff” Creek, Shoot The “Schiff,” “Schiff” On, Hot “Schiff,” “Schiff” List, “Schiff” Hit The Fan, Give A “Schiff,” “Schiff” A Brick, “Schiff” Head, “Schiff” On A Shingle, Not Give A “Schiff,” “Schiff” Or Get Off The Pot, Beats The “Schiff” Outta Me, Diddly “Schiff,” Get Your “Schiff” Together, Eat “Schiff,” No “Schiff,” Sherlock, “Schiff,” Eating, Chicken “Schiff,” In Deep “Schiff,” “Schiff” For Brains, “Schiff” Scared, When The “Schiff” Hits The Fan, Piece Of “Schiff,” Ape “Schiff,” Cheap “Schiff,” Do Bears “Schiff” In The Woods, “Schiff” Can, “Schiff” House “Schiff,” Kicker “Schiff” Stirrer, Beat The “Schiff” Out Of, “Schiff” Canned, “Schiff” Yourself, “Schiff” Zoo, and Up “Schiff’s” Creek Without A Paddle.
“That’s a lot of Bull “Schiff,’ ” one of our Political Insiders said.
“No Schiff,” Kane replied.
