FRIDAY, JANUARY 26, 2018
Belated Happy Opposite Day, Everybody…
...because yesterday was when everything you said and did was supposed to be the opposite of what you really meant. If you said “yes,” you meant “no.” If you said “turn left,” you meant “turn right.” And if you said “I love you,” you really meant “I hate you.”
We’re not really sure who created Opposite Day, but some sources vaguely connect the holiday to President Calvin Coolidge. Coolidge told the press “I do not choose to run” in the 1928 election, which left everyone wondering if he really meant the opposite.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says also on yesterday’s date in 1961, John F. Kennedy held the first live televised presidential news conference, and presidents of both parties have been telling us the opposite of what they meant on TV ever since.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Obama’s “If you like your health plan, you can keep it,”because all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, And Get All Of Their Local “Fake News” From Our Obama Supporters In The Press, Like The Ones At The Fishwrap, And On Channel 5, 9, 12, And 19, obviously don’t care if Obama ever meant what he said.
For years, it’s been easy to write our Opposite Day E-dition.
DONALD TRUMP said there was no way I’ll ever be elected President of the United States.
OBAMA SUPPORTERS IN THE PRESS said if you criticize Obama we won’t call you a racist.
DISGRACED EX-PANTS-DROPPER-IN-CHIEF BILL CLINTON was not coming to Cincinnati to raise money for Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund.
PLANNED PARENTHOOD didn’t kill babies.
CLERMONT COUNTY REPUBLICANS said Clermont County Central Committee Chairman Howard Hines is not behind the plan to un-endorse Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup next week.
IN KENTUCKY, BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO reported there was no way Rand Paul would have a primary challenger in the Senate any more than Thomas Massie would ever have one for seat in House.
OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS said, “What the heck. Diversity isn’t all that important.”
AND AT THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders, “Every day is an ‘Opposite Day’ for politicians, because you can always trust them to tell you the truth,” especially today on “Opposite Day.”
But for Opposite Day 2018, it’s been more difficult:
It’s been Opposite Day for Disingenuous DemocRATS during the first 371 days of the Trump Presidency, because their post-election flip-flops abound. Complaining that the election had been rigged was a threat to democracy when Donald Trump brought it up, and the D-RATS’ FAKE NEWS Spigot has been left running wide open.
For Reversing Republicans, Trump has done the opposite of everything the GOP said it needed to do to survive, while turning the entire Political Universe inside out, and for the Political Elite, these days everything is the exact opposite of what they’re used to in the Lewis Carroll Looking Glass World they live in.
Now from the sublime to the ridiculous, in honor of Opposite Day, Members of the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team are not proud to present our Opposite Day Lawyer.
This is the Official “Opposite Day” E-dition. Any other “Opposite Day” E-dition you might possibly see is surely a fake.
OPPOSITE DAY HOT LINE
e-mail your kind words today
Some insincere items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally insincere subscribers.
Note: We guarantee iPhones subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Note: people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something to snitch).