SUNDAY, JANUARY 14, 2018
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says tomorrow is Martin Luther King’s “Real Birthday” and we’re still waiting for one of those Liberal Talking Heads on TV to report that he was really a Republican.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose MLK’s “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says DemocRATS seem to live outrage to outrage in the Trump era, but even they admit it hasn’t been a very effective political strategy.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER REVIEWED SOME PRETTY LAME JOKES LIKE JIMMY FALLON’S: Tomorrow, President Trump will have his first physical since taking office. They’ll get off to a weird start when he eats an entire jar of cotton balls because he thinks they’re marshmallows. You’ll know Trump eats a lot of junk food when the doctor puts his stethoscope to his chest and Trump’s heart whispers, “Help me!” There will be another awkward moment when Trump tells the doctor he’s sexually active, and from the waiting room, Melania yells, “Fake news!”
SETH MEYERS: Sen. Jeff Flake said today that President Trump’s proposed border wall doesn’t need to be a wall, but more of a fence. They’ll even settle for a net or a sternly worded sign, parking cones, and if they still can’t afford it, just get some old guy who yells, “Get! Get outta here!”
JAMES CORDEN: After several reports that key White House officials are planning to leave the administration, Donald Trump has now asked his staff to decide by the end of the month whether they’re going to quit or stay on through the November midterm elections. They’re asking THEIR STAFF who’s going to be leaving the White House — right now, they should be asking the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, “Who’s going to be leaving the White House?”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL who’s celebrating his birthday on Wednesday and he wrote himself another poem, which can be seen in his “Sentimental Poems of the Day,” found in the markdown bin at better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Ode on My 87th Birthday
It is true I am getting old
My passion is becoming less bold
I’m no longer a pup,
Now I drool in my cup
And my pecker is covered with mold.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read the “Little Eric D.” Story.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN TITLED “SIGNS OF THE TIMES,” we learned what happened when it was discovered that someone had been tampering with the signs at the courthouse. That op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on October 14, 1981.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER knows how many Fuse and Zoomtown customers are not be getting their money’s worth these days, especially whenever Cincinnati Bell’s servers decide to mislabel media advisories from The Blower as “Spam.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 220 is to tell a Liberal how much you admire the lofty neutrality and commitment to truth at all costs of their house journal at the New York Times, which is now about to lay off more of its Trump Bashing staffers.
GOING GALT means shrugging off unearned guilt, refusing to support your own destroyers, refusing to give them what Ayn Rand termed “the sanction of the victim.” It means taking the moral high ground by explicitly rejecting as evil the premise of “self-sacrifice” that they sell to you as a virtue— in fact “self-sacrifice” is an invitation to suicide.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says the Stock Market kept setting new records this week as the House passed legislation to extend the federal government’s warrantless surveillance program. The Senate approved various nominations. Next Week: Both the House and Senate will try to pass a new government funding bill that will avert a government shutdown.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. This week they were hoping Oprah would run for president so they could all get free cars. Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all that media hysteria when so many people were outraged-and-offended after all of Trump’s enemies couldn’t stop repeating just another WaPo Anti-Trump FAKE NEWS Report, this one claiming Our Politically Incorrect President had forgotten to sugar coat the truth one more time and is alleged to have asked why we’re having all those people from “Shithole Countries” come to America. “Let’s see how much media coverage there is when somebody reports the reason Trump’s alleged remark became public in the first place was because Senator Dick Durbin, a Dishonest DemocRAT representing Illinois, came out of the meeting stating that president Trump had referred to African nations as “shitholes.”
REMEMBER: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its so-called Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that are due on January 31. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows how.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JANUARY 15) The Blower will be working on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and most over-taxed payers will have to work that day too.
TUESDAY (JANUARY 16) our Real Subscribers will be remembering about this time in 1998, when internet gossip Matt Drudge posted a story that ultimately led to Bill Clinton’s Impeachment.
WEDNESDAY (JANUARY 17) our Republican Replay will be remembering last year on Obama’s third from final day in office.
THURSDAY (JANUARY 18) we’ll checking to see how much news coverage there is when somebody actually reports how Dishonest DemocRAT Dick Durbin lied when he said Trump’s a Racist for calling all those places where poor black and brown people come from “Shitholes.”
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JANUARY 19) LIMERICK IS: “When somebody sends you a tweet.”
AND SATURDAY (JANUARY 20) we’ll be heading down to Florida to celebrate the anniversary of The Trumpster’s inauguration at dinner with the whole family, that is if we win that free trip being offered by the Trump-Pence re-election campaign.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Tonight’s Whistleblower Videos
Trump Conducts His Symphony
Life Accordion To Trump
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.