MONDAY, JANUARY 8, 2018
Which Left More Shrimp For The Rest Of Us
Yesterday afternoon, The Blower e-mailed Persons of Consequence on The Official Whistleblower Subscribers List to let them know why their invitations had not yet arrived.
That surely put a damper on The Blower’s Double Secret Surprise Birthday Party Celebration for our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane last night, and that fake Twitter message from a Russian hacker announcing the event had been cancelled also kept some of the people away.
The result was: the number of local celebrities who actually showed up for the party, after the after-party, of the birthday party, was a lot fewer than we’d expected. Thankfully, Award Winning Illustrator Artis Conception was on hand to shows us who actually showed up.
CINCINNATI MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY, who had claimed he would never allow a party like this to take place on his watch when he found out no Illegal Immigrants had been invited, actually attended.
SEMPER SI LEIS, who said “I’d really still rather be swimming naked at the Cincinnati Athletic Club,” actually attended.
ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS, who still hadn’t gotten over the results of his frivolous lawsuit against The Blower (back when he actually had a law license), attended the party.
DETROIT POLICE CHIEF JAMES CRAIG, who said, “I didn’t get a secret payoff from Cranley like Chief Blackwell did,” actually attended.
FOXY ROXY QUALLS, who said, “With everybody jumping into the Mayor’s Race against Cranley last year, maybe I should’ve, too,” actually attended.
HAMILTON COUNTY PROSECUTOR “JAYWALKING JOE” DETERS, who said, “Please don’t ask if I plan to jump into the Ohio Senate Race after Josh Mandel dropped out,” actually attended.
“MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT, who said, “You’ll never guess who advised me to go into business as a Dominatrix,” actually showed up.
AND OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, who said, “Please don’t ask if I’m guilty of sexual harassment because what I’m doing with my right hand,” actually attended.
POST-PARTY DEPRESSION HOT LINE
e-mail us something today to try to cheer us up
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.