WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3, 2018
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Sunday’s celebrity birthdays include three American icons: Millard Fillmore, 13th president of these United States; Paul Revere, the New England Patriot who rode through every Middlesex village and farm to warn that the British were coming; and of course, Our Very Own Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, Charles Foster Kane. —Hurley the Historian
Did you forget my birthday on Monday? —Elvis
I’m wondering if anybody will be wishing me an early Happy Birthday on my Facebook Page, if Facebook hadn’t cancelled my page because they claimed I was not a “real person.” —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Folks who showed up at my Christmas Party at Jack Casino on Christmas may have disappointed that I won’t be returning to politics any time soon, but they congratulated me on my new career as a Dominatrix after they checked out my new web page. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
Which did you like better— giving three newly elected Cincinnati City Council members committee chairs while screwing over two veteran D-RATS like Clowncilgay Chris Squealback and Wendell Young, or replacing DemocRAT Vice Mayor David Mann with conservative-leaning independent Chris Smithermouth? —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley
When I retire, will I still be a “Person of Consequence?” —Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
Only the Bungals would keep a coach all these years without winning a playoff game, or in the case of this year, not even getting to the playoffs where they played unprepared, uninspired, sloppy football. —Troublemaking Tailgater Tino Delgato
I thought for sure The Blower would have something to say about last how we didn’t make the playoffs either.—Urban Meyer
Please tell your Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Happy Birthday, since we’ll be mailing his re-estate tax bill on Friday, two days before his birthday. —Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering
Wait till your Beloved Publisher sees what we did to his tax bill. We’ll just call it a “birthday” present. —Your Disingenuous Double-Dipping Democrat Auditor Who Was Also Permitted to Run Unopposed
Please thank Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception for including us in last year’s rendition of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s Party After the After Party. —Howard Wilkinson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin, Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich, Lady Ga Ga, Roseanne Barr, President of Iran, Mayor Mallory, Trish “the Dish,” Mitt Romney, Hillary, “JayWalking Joe” Deters, Foxy Roxy, Vladimir Putin, “Millionaire Mike” Brown, Obama’s Mooch, the Birthday Boy, Whoopi Cushion, Sarah Baby, and Bill Springerinham
Clowns to the left of you, Jokers to the right, here we are, Stuck in the middle with you. —Long-time Whistleblower Persons of Consequence
How cold is it supposed to get this week? —TV 19’s “Trish the Dish”
Sheree Paolello used to always ask how warm it was when I wore my winter wig. —Jack Atherton, (Retired TV Anchorman)
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially RINOs in Congress.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Celebrity Birthdays to show that always all that obsessing over celebrities is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President In History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama A Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, And Get All Of Their Local “Fake News” From Our Obama Supporters In The Press, Like The Ones At The Fishwrap, And On Channel 5, 9, 12, And 19.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially WLWT AnchorBabe Sheree Paolello (whose name we have to look up how to spell every time we use it).
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