Special “Rhyme Time” E-dition



More Real Rhymes  

image005For the past eleven years, the Real E-Mails in Tuesday e-ditions of The Whistleblower-Newswire that fell between Christmas and New Year’s had always been made up of phrases that rhymed with that particular year.

The first year, The Blower had more “conflicts” in 2006, and some of the Real E-Mails included:

Those voters hit us with bricks in 2006. —BuckWheat Blackwell, Mike DeWhine, Schnozzy Heimlick, Little Lord John Joseph Cranley IV, and Safari Ken Lucas

image009We watched lots of porn flicks in 2006. — Phil Burr-ass and Si Leis

image009Higher property values I tried to fix in 2006. —Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT County Auditor

image009I made some really bad picks in 2006. —Temporary Hamilton County GOP Party Boss George Vincent

image009DUIs and successful campaigns didn’t mix in 2006. —Danny Zalla and Marcus Carey

image009You forgot to call us dicks in 2006. Dick Muratroyd and Dick Roeding

image009And…We faked our amorous acrobatics in 2006. —Fort Mitchell MILFs


In 2007, our Second Annual Rhyme Time was not so sublime, because we could only find five words and phrases that rhymed with “Seven,” and our Real E-Mailers’ submissions all rhymed with the upcoming year:

image009We’ll swallow the bait in 2008. —Dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed politically correct voters

image009We’ll have a Blue Buckeye State in 2008. —Determined DemocRATS in Ohio

image009Will we still make you irate in 2008? —Devious DemocRAT Hamilton County Commissioners Odd Todd Opportune and David A. Pepper

image009Over-taxed payers will still pay the freight in 2008. —The Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Freedom Center

image009My last name I’ll still hyphenate, every day till I’m elected in 2008. —Alecia Webb-Edgington

image009No plea deals will I adjudicate next year in 2008. —Judge Roy Bean Bartlett

image009And…I’ll turn boys into men on the very first date, that’s if I’m still free in 2008. —Jeni Lee Dinkel


In 2008, our Rancid Rhymes included:

image009We deserved our harsh fate in 2008. —Republicans in Name Only

image009We’ll have to keep up the birth rate in 2008. —Welfare Mamas

image009We’d still procreate in 2008. —Illegal Immigrants

image009More Section 8 in 2008. —Cincinnati Metropolitan Housing Authority

image009For the Banks you know you’ll still have to wait, so we kept building ours in 2008 —Northern Kentucky Developers

image009What happened to our clean slate in 2008? —Bluegrass Politicians

image009More felons we’d incarcerate this year in 2008. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders

image003In 2009, our Rhymes again were sublime, when they added rhymes for the word “Nine”:

image009We got our Blue Buckeye State in 2008, but we withered on the vine, in 2009. —Gayvenor Strickland and all those Dysfunctional DemocRATS in Columbus

image009Voters swallowed the bait in 2008, but I ran into a Tea Party Mine, in 2009. —Ohio’s First District Dumpy DemocRAT Congressman Steve Drinkhaus

image009We deserved our harsh fate in 2008, and we never found our spine, in 2009. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

image009Flim-flamming was great in 2008, but I refused to resign, in 2009. —Whacky Jacky O’Brien’s Illegitimate Son Kevin, the banned broker just elected under false pretenses

image009Across the river we’d proliferate in 2008, and we did just fine, in 2009. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

image009We didn’t lose any weight in 2008, and we’re at the head of the chow line, in 2009. —Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich

image009Drinking beer we couldn’t abate in 2008, so we switched over to wine, in 2009. —Bill Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith

image003In 2010, we were at it again:

image009We watched Obama’s popularity decline, in 2009; and it dropped once again, in 2010. —Obama Supporters in the Press

image009The TEA Party was mine in 2009; but I got pillaged again in 2010. —The TEA Party Messiah who’s still hoping to rise from the dead

image009My Bungals could cross the goal line in 2009; but they folded once again in 2010. —“Millionaire Mike” Brown 

image009Nothing fell in line, in 2009; and I embarrassed myself again in 2010. That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt

image009The Blower said I’d be first to cross the finish line back in 2009; and I proved them right once again in 2010. —Senator-elect Rand Paul

image009My frivolous lawsuits were by design, in 2009; and I got sanctioned again in 2010.   Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters

image009Kane delivered many a great gag line, in 2009; and even played the drums now and then during 2010.  —Flashlight Theatre


That brought us to 2011. We couldn’t find many words that rhymed with “Eleven?” There weren’t many like “Seven.” If you found any, it would’ve been like “Manna from Heaven” but only if your name was Kevin. Maybe we should’ve just tried it with the word “Year.” 

So we sent out a message to all of our Real E-Mailers, telling them your mission, should you choose to accept it, would be to be to submit this year’s sublime rhyme that ends with the word “year,” something like “We had reason to cheer, at the beginning of this year,” “My critics did jeer, at the end of this year,” or “Your reputation we’d smear, all through this year.”


2012 was a better year for our rancid rhymes, but only after we figured out a way to find a way to make words rhyme with “Twelve.”

image009Voters said my time wasn’t through in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Obama

image009Because more free stuff was due in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Dumbed-down, Self-absorbed, Media-influenced, Celebrity-obsessed, Politically-correct, Uninformed, Short-attention-span Obama Supporters

image009Our Liberal Bias only grew in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Obama Supporters in the Press

image009Over the Fiscal Cliff we flew in the Year 2-0-1-2. —GOP House Speaker John Boehner

image009Once again, Ohio turned “Blue” in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Governor Kasich and the So-Called Ohio Republican Party

image009Our dreams of four year terms finally did come true in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Mark Mallory’s Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil


And the next year we found a way to make words rhyme with “2013.”

image009With all my scandals I never came clean in the Year 2013. —Obama

image009Caving in to Dishonest DemocRATS became routine in the Year 2013. —GOP House Speaker John Boehner

image009Our campaign lies were barely unseen in the Year 2013. —Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann, along with Clowncil-men Kevin Flynn Flam and P.G. Sitt-n-Spin

image009My political career went in the latrine in the Year 2013. —Disgraced DemocRAT State Senator Eric Kearney

image009Was the Kentucky Bar Association just being mean in the Year 2013? —“Crazy Eric” Deters

image009We had to get mean in 2013. —Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney’s Former Law Partners, who can hardly wait to take his name off both buildings first thing tomorrow and have been hiding it under a Christmas Wreath at the Hyde Park office during the meantime


Nothing worked last year, because we’d not completely gotten over that that 2014 Christmas Eve Hack Attack that totally destroyed our custom-designed Whistleblower Newswire Web Site.


       But our Rhyme-meisters were back in business in 2015, as you can surely see.

image009No impeachment was seen in 2015. —Obama

 image009DemocRATS elected me their queen in 2015. —Hillary

 image009Bimbo Eruptions returned to the scene in 2015. —Slick Willie  

 image009Everyone I could demean in 2015. —Donald Trump

 image009Supporters were few and far between in 2015. —John Kasich

 image009My legacy was still in the latrine in 2015. —Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman

image009My failures became somewhat routine in 2015. —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRat Mayor Cranley

image009Bluegrass D-RATS clocks I did clean in 2015. —Republican Governor Matt Bevin

image009Inside Kentucky I was totally unseen in 2015. —$tan Che$ley

 image009I used a smoke screen in 2015. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

image009And Diversity was still our main meme in 2015. —Feckless Fishwrappers


Which Brings Us To 2016, With A Mere 941 Words That Rhyme.

image009My Legacy Clock voters did clean in November 2016. —Obama

image009Winning became nearly routine in 2016. —Donald Trump

image009The DOJ said my record was clean in 2016. —Hillary

image009Kids hated my cuisine in 2016. —Michelle

image009All my old bimbos made a real scene in 2016. —Slick Willie 

image009My embarrassment was supreme in 2016. —John Kasich

image009Conservative support was still unseen in 2016. —Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman

image009My Blackwell payoff needed a screen in 2016. —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor Cranley

image009At least people continued to dry clean in 2016. —Andrew Pappas

image009My new business venture was unforeseen in 2016. —Mean Jean 

image009Bluegrass D-RATS clocks I continued to clean in 2016. —Republican Governor Matt Bevan

image009Inside Kentucky I was still totally unseen in 2016. —$tan Che$ley

image009Claiming to be Trump’s NoKY Spokesman was keen in 2016. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

image009Our Liberal Bias was really Obscene in 2016. —Feckless Fishwrappers


Which Brings Us To 2017, with only five words and phrases that rhyme with “Seven” (like in 2007 and 2011). Maybe that’s why our Garrulous Grammarian suggested we try rhyming with “Teen,” since there only 1,067 of those words:

image009Trump really picked my Legacy clean in 2017. —Obama

image009FAKE NEWS CNN I did demean in 2017. —The Trumpster

image009They said I didn’t have to say what I’d mean in 2017. —Crooked Hillar

image009School kids could once again enjoy their new cuisine in 2017. —Michelle 

image009Talking about my bimbos became routine in 2017. —Slick Willie

image009My mad ravings were often seen is 2017. —Delusional GOP Governor John Kasich

image009I wanted to see how The Blower would work in the word “Queen” in 2017. —Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman

image009My re-election cost a whole lot of green in 2017. —Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley

image009Social Media claimed I was obscene in 2017. —Anderson Trustee Andrew Pappas

image009My return to politics was yet unseen in 2017. —Mean Jean Schmiidt

image009I ordered $158 million less to be spent from the over-taxed payers’ cash machine in 2017. —KY Governor Matt Bevin

image009$162,000 in Sanctions, but no lien in 2017. —$tan Chesley

image009As a “non-attorney spokesman” I would preen on screen in 2017. —Eric Call Me Crazy Deters

image009Our Liberal Bias reigned supreme in 2017.  —Feckless Fishwrappers


Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us Alfred E. Kasich.


  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—      

         image011Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Rhyme Timers to show that overusing rhetorical flourishes will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t afflicted with Obsessive-compulsive Rhyming Disorder.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Whistleblower Limerick Contestants.



e-mail your adverse alliterations today.

image013 Some iambic pentameter items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally iambic pentameter Subscribers.