SUNDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2017
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1984, an explosion at a Union Carbide pesticide plant in Bhopal, India, led to the worst industrial accident in history. At least 2,000 people died and another 200,000 were injured when toxic gas enveloped the city. “Those were the good old days,” says Disbarred Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced Democrat, Clinton-Loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-Yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $Tan Che$ley, Kentucky winner of Eighth Annual Whistleblower Turkey Decorating Contest for Thanksgiving, where the person who was selected as the biggest turkey of the year would be shown with his head on the body of a turkey.
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose $tan’s “We’re very pleased and looking forward to the discovery.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says With news of sexual harassment permeating Hollywood, Washington, and even the media itself, many are wondering why it seems like a much bigger problem today than in the past. But voters are saying it’s not happening more often, we’re just talking about it more.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today we have the “solution” from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, found in “Poems for Politicians,” available at better Kroger bookstores everywhere (except the one that’s closing).
It’s Just That Simple
It’s time to stop the spenders cold.
And make the taxes go.
When they ask you for a “little bit more”
Just tell the bastards “No.”
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Gex Wanker Story.”
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “From the Soup Line to the Ridiculous” told us why then-Cincinnati Mayor David Mann organized a soup line instead of greeting President Ronald Reagan at the Westin, first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 9, 1981, was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says our Late Night Comedians found out how difficult it was to make jokes without their customary Trump Bashing.
JIMMY FALLON SAID: Jerry Springer says he won’t run for governor of Ohio next year. You know politics has gotten messy when Jerry Springer’s like, “I can’t be associated with this.”
CONAN O’BRIEN SAID: Matt Lauer got a public message of support from Geraldo Rivera. In response, Lauer said, “My God, now I’ve really hit rock bottom.”
JAMES CORDEN SAID: This computer glitch could really screw things up for people flying on Christmas. It just gave time off to 15,000 pilots and eight tiny reindeer.
JIMMY KIMMEL said: More famous and powerful men accused today of inappropriate behavior, including, this was a shocker, Santa Claus. Apparently one of the children on his routes saw him kissing mommy, and I guess it’s over.
SETH MEYERS SAID: The official Rockefeller Center Christmas tree was lit earlier tonight. And it will stand there until early January when I have to drag it out to the curb.
AND STEVEN COLBERT SAID: According to the chairman of NBC News, (Matt) Lauer was fired due to “inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace.” Not to be confused with “appropriate” sexual behavior in the workplace. Because that does not exist.
OBVIOUSLY, WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH COMING FROM OUR SO-CALLED LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says this week, the 66 men and women representatives elected to the Ohio Republican Party State Central Committee, and ORP Chairwoman Jane Timken, actually voted to protect the primary election process in Ohio by not rubber-stamping the Party Boss’ endorsed Republican candidates as usual two months before the filing deadline of February 7, 2018. Maybe they figured out the purpose of the party is to ELECT Republicans, not CHOOSE the candidates. That would be the It responsibility of the VOTERS. Just think— no more consultant/Party crook operatives’ choosing incompetent types like “Mean Jean” Schmidt as our candidates.
TODAY, THE WHISTLEBLOWER REPERTORY GROUP proudly presents the Whistleblower Snowball Fight Video, where Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Newt are teamed up against Alex T. and the local RINOs. [WATCH IT HERE]
MINORITY REPORT: What’s Kwanzaa Klaus bringing you this year? A healthy dose of political correctness for a totally fabricated holiday.
TRAVEL ADVISORY: If you’re still having trouble finding where Ohio’s Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup will be turning on those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County on Saturday, you might check with the Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located west of West Union.
ALSO IN CLERMONT COUNTY: It’s time for the Crony Chorus to sing the Second Day of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s” Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by “Mean Jean’s” Eviler Twin Sister Jennifer Black, after “Mean Jean” was again featured on MTV’s “Awesomely Bad Celebrity Fashions.” It goes something like this:
“On the Second Day of Christmas, ‘Mean Jean’ gave to me,
Two Red Dresses,
And one old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.”
Let’s all learn the words so we can sing them at “Mean Jean’s” upcoming Annual Holiday Party later this month.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 341 is to invite your favorite liberal couple over for dinner. Be sure to pull the seat out and then slide it in for the lady — and then do the same for the man. It’s easy and so much fun to unman a Liberal — and what’s he going to do: complain that you’re not being sexist?
JOHN GALT says, “The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trade…A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says the Stock Market would’ve set another new record on Friday until the market plunged 350 points when now-suspended ABC Radical Liberal Reporter Brian Ross got caught dishonestly claiming that “Candidate” Donald Trump had instructed Michael Flynn to make contact with Russian officials. In reality, President-Elect Trump had only done so AFTER the election.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, like morons in the audience Tuesday at CNN’s so-called Town Hall Debate. Senator Ted Cruz sniped at Bernie Sanders’ often-used complaint about “millionaires and billionaires” not paying enough in taxes and quipped there aren’t enough of them to “pay for all the socialism that Bernie and the DemocRATS want to give away.”
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Fishwrap really planned to boycott the Whistleblower-Newswire’s Annual Holiday Party for the Media in light of Kane’s unrelenting attacks on the Radical Liberal Establishment Media for their Lies and Fake News, and continuing to point out that Feckless Fishwrappers are “too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest ever to report the Truth.” “Christmas came early,” Kane explained. “That means there will be more shrimp for the rest of us.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio First District Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead, who just returned from another junket from south of the border, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
Whistleblower NFL Boycott Update
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says our NFL Boycott everybody’s wondering how many empty seats there will be for the Steelers game Monday night at Paul Brown Stadium. This is what it looked like last Sunday at Kickoff time.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (DECEMBER 4) The Blower will be publishing our Annual 2017 Multi-cultural Holidays E-dition, along with pointing out the difference between Melania Trump’s First Christmas At White House Compared To Michelle’s Last Christmas.
TUESDAY (DECEMBER 5) we’ll be counting down the number of shoplifting days until Kwanzaa and, our Real Subscribers will telling us what they’re shoplifting for.
WEDNESDAY (DECEMBER 6) we’ll be checking with Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel for some names you would know of all those adulterers and adulteresses at the local newspapers, TV Stations, Cincinnati City Hall, and especially the Hamilton County Courthouse The Blower’s exposed during the past 27 years
THURSDAY (DECEMBER 7) we’ll will be publishing our Special “Pearl Harbor Day” E-dition, because unlike many folks, we haven’t forgotten.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (DECEMBER 8) Limerick is “What if Santa turned out to be gay?”
AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 9) we’ll be with Ohio’s Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup when he turns on those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County Saturday night.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TONIGHT’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
GREG GUTFELD: President Trump’s Week In Review
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