Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
With all of the recent Harvey Weinstein Sexual Harassment Hype, some people thought it was more than mere coincidence that earlier today in The Blower’s “Those Were The Good Old Days” E-dition, Edition #72 (published on October 15, 1991) of the original printed edition of The Whistleblower (not the Newswire) that was delivered to Persons of Consequence all over town was our “Not Guilty Of Sexual Harassment” Edition.
Our REALLY BIG STORY was all about Cincinnati Post Columnist David Wecker’s sexual harassment complaints.
Our TOP TEN LIST listed was the top ten things Teddy Kennedy wished he’d asked Anita Hill at the Senate Judiciary Hearing.
And Enquirer “Tip Off Columnist” Jim Knippenberg said blondes were being harassed, too.
You Can Read That Entire E-dition HERE.
— TONIGHT’S TOP HARVEY WEINSTEIN SEXUAL HARASSMENT VIDEO —
Hollywood Is A Satanic Cesspool
— TONIGHT’S TOP CONSERVATIVE POSTERS —
Kim Jong-Un Threatens To ‘Melt Trump’s Face Off’
PYONGYANG, DPRK (World News Bureau) – North Korean leader Kim Jong-un appeared before his top generals on Wednesday to threaten President Trump after reportedly receiving Spanx from the American president.
This is the first time Kim has personally threatened war in a public venue since Trump gained office, and is seen as a dangerous escalation of hostilities between the two countries.
TO SEE MORE FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Police Keep ANTIFA Away From Columbus Statues By Taping Job Applications Onto Them
U.S.—ANTIFA factions nationwide had planned a “deface Columbus day,” on which they intended to deface and destroy statues of Christopher Columbus Monday, but authorities in many cities got the better of the radical far-left groups with a brilliant idea: by adhering legitimate job applications all over their local Columbus statues, they virtually guaranteed that Antifa groups would not approach them.
“It’s working extremely well so far. These ANTIFA thugs won’t go anywhere near an opportunity for gainful employment,” Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck told reporters. “We urge other American cities: if you want to protect your statues of Columbus, just head to the nearest McDonald’s or Walmart and ask for a stack of job applications. Get some tape and stick them all over the statue, and you can pretty much just go about your day at that point.”
“Job applications are ANTIFA’S kryptonite,” he added.
At publishing time, Beck confirmed that “Help Wanted” signs, American flags, gendered bathroom signs, and notes from their mothers informing them that it’s time to grow up and get their own place should have a similar paralyzing effect on the ruthless ANTIFA mobs.
TO SEE MORE BABYLON BEE STORIES, CLICK HERE
Nation Schedules Recurring Monthly Benefit Concert To Streamline Tragedy Response Process
WASHINGTON—In an effort to bypass the logistical challenges of arranging an entirely new event each time, the nation announced Wednesday that it would be streamlining its tragedy response process by holding recurring benefit concerts every month. “With so many awful things happening back-to-back, it just makes sense to plan a series of fundraising shows well in advance rather than scramble to throw one together after every single calamity,” said event organizer Marvin Beckett, who at the behest of all 323 million Americans will line up a full slate of performances from the music industry’s top talents for the first Saturday of the month that will encompass any natural disasters or acts of mass violence that have occurred in the prior 30 days. “This scheduling is just a more practical and efficient way for us as a nation to come together and support our fellow Americans when they need help most. If we can’t stop these tragedies from happening, at least we can keep ourselves organized.” At press time, the American populace was reportedly open to the idea of weekly benefit concerts or a benefit concert that ran continuously and indefinitely.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
The North Korean situation remains dire. Kim Jong-un seems determined to provoke a war. If he fires a ballistic missile toward our coast it could very well trigger one. After all, we know he has the nuclear technology and has probably achieved the miniaturization necessary to mount a warhead on a long-range missile. His shrill saber rattling is now backed with a very real and dangerous threat. (MORE)
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 266. There Are Now Only 1,118 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.