Daily Archives: September 24, 2017

Special “Weekend Wrap-up” E-dition

More Politics Unusual 

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1789 the Supreme Court was established, and the Founding Fathers could’ve never imagined what kind of community organizers Obama would’ve appointed or some of the rulings the Obama Court made.

THAT’S WHY YOUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s “More than a decade ago, a Supreme Court decision literally wiped off the books of fifty states statutes protecting the rights of unborn children. Abortion on demand now takes the lives of up to 1.5 million unborn children a year. Human life legislation ending this tragedy will some day pass the Congress, and you and I must never rest until it does. Unless and until it can be proven that the unborn child is not a living entity, then its right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness must be protected.” 

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says football fans are voting with their TVs. As the National Football League struggles to explain this season’s downturn in viewer ratings, 34% of American Adults say they are less likely to watch an NFL game because of the growing number of protests by players on the field. 

MORE PERVERT POETRY: September’s almost over, and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.                            

          September Screwing
          The lady likes to have her fun
          But not to become a mama.
          So she took her daily birth control
          And mailed the bill to Obama.            

IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “VENDORSEMENTS,” just before the Annual Commissioner Swindle Mudslinging Contest, Patronage County Innuendo political reporter Dummy Byline stood chatting with Waldo Whitewash, his counterpart at The Compost, the other daily newspaper in Patronage County. This op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press in November, 1982.

THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says this week most of our late-night comedians were back at their Trump bashing.

JIMMY FALLON SAID: Some good news for President Trump. A new poll shows that his approval ratings just rose three points. That’s right — it’s now at four points.

CONAN O’BRIEN SAID: This afternoon, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un lashed out at President Trump, calling him “mentally deranged” and “a frightened dog.” As a result, Kim Jong Un is now the DemocRATS’ top pick for president in 2020.

JAMES CORDEN SAID: Meanwhile, today North Korea’s foreign minister responded to Donald Trump’s speech at the United Nations saying that Trump’s threats to destroy their country are just “the sound of a dog barking.” Now that’s not fair because when a dog barks, you actually understand what he is trying to communicate.

SETH MEYERS SAID: According to The Washington Post, in July of 2016, former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort offered to provide private briefings on the presidential race to a Russian billionaire who is close with Vladimir Putin. So Paul Manafort was the campaign manager for Donald Trump, and he met with a billionaire who was friends with Putin, who was in a movie with Kevin Bacon! I did it! 

AND STEVEN COLBERT SAID: But things are looking up, especially with the Russia investigation. As you know, special counsel Robert Mueller has been unearthing all sorts of dirt on the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia. It just came out that Mueller requested documents from the White House related to “13 different areas in which investigators are seeking information.” It’s all collected on “Now That’s What I Call Collusion: Volume 45.” Available wherever CDs are still sold. So I’m gonna say Starbucks.


MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says The Fishwrap contained an article Monday about a group called “Our Library Our Decision” which is asking questions about the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County selling off its north library building downtown to developers.

We’ve been writing about the mismanagement of the public library for years, under the terrible leadership of Kimber Fender.  The seven-member library board of trustees is composed of lazy millionaire dilettante members who vote for whatever Kimber comes up with.

Here’s a profile of one of those lazy do-nothing board of trustee members which we first printed here back in 2011:

Allen G. Zaring IV was appointed by his cronies, the tax-happy Hamilton County commissioners, to be a trustee of the public library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County.  Zaring IV, who lives in a multimillion dollar house on Vineyard Place in Columbia-Tusculum, is a trustee who loves to sit on his fat ass on public boards of directors, preening and doing little.  He currently encourages inept library director, Kimber Fender (who pulls in $225,000 per year) to pursue her weird policy of welcoming sex offenders and other felons to hang around the library all day, watching porn on the free computers, harassing and attacking unsuspecting library patrons.  All on our dime, of course.

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

LIBERAL LUNACY: LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #261 is to say to a liberal, “You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash.”

JOHN GALT says, “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says there’s good reason Donald Trump keeps touting how well the Stock Market is doing since he became President.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and Bernie Sanders “Medicare for All: threatens to sink Disingenuous DemocRATS in 2018 and 2020.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were congratulating Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane on getting Google not to show Tracy Winkler’s picture when you’re looking for the “Hamilton County Clerk of Courts.” “Do you realize how many people at 1000 Main Street read The Blower?” Kane asked.


Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio’s Delusional Governor John Kasich, still living his Wet Dream as a candidate for President whenever, who now claims the real reason Graham-Cassidy bill to repeal ObamaCare doesn’t stand a chance is because he and Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper are against it.


MONDAY (SEPTEMBER 25) The Blower will be featuring our “More Media Bias” E-dition, or as we say at The Blower, “Just Another Monday.”

TUESDAY (SEPTEMBER 26) is National Voter Registration Day, and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be sure to give you their evaluation.

WEDNESDAY (SEPTEMBER 27) The Blower will be celebrating Jewish New Year and we’ll be wishing everybody a Happy 5778.

THURSDAY (SEPTEMBER 28) we’ll find out if the Founding Fathers are have stopped spinning in their graves after the disrespect shown to America last weekend’s Disgraceful Protests when all those oppressed Black Millionaires In The NFL (Negro Football League) “took a knee” in Take A Knee In Over-Taxed Payer Funded Stadiums across America.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (SEPTEMBER 29) Limerick is “When it’s only 38 more days till Elections.”

AND SATURDAY (SEPTEMBER 30) Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall probably will not be in, because as we all know, he’ll in Temple for Yom Kippur all that day atoning for his transgressions.

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

President Donald Trump responds to Disgraceful NFL players kneeling during the national anthem at a brief press conference before boarding Air Force One today.

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