Special “Labor Day in America” E-dition

HEADER-SEPT 7 LABOR DAY

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2017

How Will These Ordinary Americans Celebrate Union Day?

image013image005Mama Maruska, Retired Homemaker: Cooking for my ungrateful family like I do on every holiday.

image014image005Porky Dorkman, Student: Getting ready to skip school tomorrow.

image017image005Marlene Mandible, Totally Unemployable: Accusing the airline of “Fat-Shaming” me when they make me pay for three seats on my light.

 

image019image005Earl Pitts, Part-time Taxidermist: Hopin’ my kids don’t get their fingers blowed off with all those illegal fireworks I bought at the truck stop.

image021image005Linda Libel, Gossip Columnist: Trying Trying to pick up on the latest hearsay at the AFL-CIO Labor Day Picnic so we can scoop The Fishwrap when we publish Jerry Springer’s decision about running for Ohio Governor next year.

image023image005Suzie Soccermom, TEA Partier: Avoiding being raped, murdered, or run over by unruly Black Teenagers after the fireworks in downtown Cincinnati.

image024image005Leroy Williams, Street Corner Pharmacist: Selling crack to teenagers in Over-the-Rhine.

 image026image005Norma Rashid, Former TV5 Anchorwoman: Sitting home alone waiting for Charlie to call.

image027image005Jack Mehoff, Used Solar Panel Salesman: Eatin’ lots of brats and metts at the union picnic even though I still haven’t paid my dues.

 image029image005Emily Frump, Retired City EmployeeWorrying about what’s going to happen to my pension.

image030image005CH Snitch, 1000 Main Street: Wondering why you still see Tracy Winkler’s picture every time you Google “Hamilton County Clerk Of Courts.”

image032image005Sid Schlock, Slumlord: Planning on how to raise the rent on illegal aliens.

image034image005Ken CamBoo, Northern Kentucky Journalist: Wondering why there are so few unions in the Bluegrass State.

image035image005TEA Party Tim: Circulating Right-to-work petitions.

image037image005Reverum Calhoun, Minister: Finding out who Black People are supposed to support in this year’s Cincinnati Mayor’s race.

image039image005Seedy Diehl, Northern Kentucky: Getting another day off with pay.

 

image040image005Rashid Jones, Escort Service Provider: Tellin’ his main lady “This ain’t no holiday for you, bitch! Get out on the street and bring me my money.”

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Whistleblower Video of the Day

Thanks, Union Bosses!


Sent in by the Union-Busting Koch Brothers.

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Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.image005image010