— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —
SUNDAY, AUGUST 20, 2017
More Politics Unusual
WARNING: The Counter in the Lower Right Hand Corner of the Whistleblower WEB PAGE continues to click off the hours, minutes and seconds until you can burn your eyes out by looking directly at the Solar Eclipse.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1833, Benjamin Harrison was born in North Bend, Ohio, and Hurley wondered what percentage of our Failed Cincinnati Public $kool$ honor students returning to class this week would be able to tell you who Benjamin Harrison was.
THAT’S PROBABLY WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE WILL ROGERS’ “The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Multiple attacks by terrorists in Spain capped a tumultuous week in which President Trump faced sustained attacks from the media and even his own party. But Republican voters are getting pretty unhappy with their leaders in Congress. Now let’s check out the Rasmussen Minute.
MORE PUTRID POETRY: Children have now returned to schools and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
The Student’s Creed
The public schools are open,
Let’s happily run and shout.
We’ll wander buy in about a week
And see how many have dropped out.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “HOPELESS CHANGE,” We were talking about the official change that came over the Main Stream Media Newswire that morning: We were no longer calling Black Rioters in “Looters” any more. That term had been officially changed to “Aggrieved Victims of America’s Racist Criminal Justice System.”
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says left-wing late night comedians were really working fake news into their nightly Trump Bashing.
Jimmy Fallon said: I saw that a life-sized statue of President Trump was just installed on a park bench here in New York. Even pigeons were like, “I’m gonna take my business elsewhere.”
Conan O’Brien said: In a tweet this morning, President Trump called Confederate statues “beautiful.” People were shocked because it’s the first time Trump has complimented anything that’s over 40 years old.
James Corden said: Trump thinks these 100-year-old Confederate monuments are beautiful. Which is weird. Usually Trump doesn’t call anything beautiful if it’s over 30 years old.
Jimmy Kimmel said: President Trump is having a historically bad week, which he kept going strong with a string of combative tweets this morning. He makes one good point. If we’re going to start taking down every monument that pays tribute to racists, we should probably take down every building with the name “Trump” on it.
Seth Meyers said: Axios today published a list of groups that President Trump has alienated during his first seven months of office. And now the world is out of paper.
Stephen Colbert said: I’m still recovering from President Trump’s kamikaze press conference yesterday, where Donald let Donald be Donald — the consequences and our country be damned. It was truly one for the ages — specifically, 1939 to 1945.
WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH FROM OUR LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS
SPEAKING OF COMEDIANS: Ohio’s Delusional Governor John Kasich, told Jake Tapper on FAKE NEWS CNN’s “State of the Union” this morning that he is not currently planning to challenge President Donald Trump in the 2020 presidential election.
However, Kasich said he would be available to sidestep the issue again if Tapper wanted to interview him again next Sunday.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Diminutive DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley joined 14 other city mayors in support of the “Mayors Against Illegal Guns” Coalition. That’s the ticket! This will solve the problem of gang violence once and for all. By no means is it politically motivated. The fact that Cranley is up for re-election this fall has nothing to do with his support. Finally, will have Peace in the inner city.
— Trump Rally In Phoenix on Tuesday, August 22 —
Phoenix Convention Center
100 N. 3rd Street
Phoenix, AZ 85004
Doors Open at 4PM EST, The Event Will Begin At 7 PM MST
To Get Your Free Tickets To The Event,
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ #242 says you should tell a joke like Q: How do you starve an Obama supporter? A: Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
JOHN GALT says, “If you don’t know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says U.S. stocks lost ground late to end lower on Friday following a White House-focused week that raised more questions about the Trump administration’s ability to implement its pro-growth agenda. While the day’s losses were small, Friday marked the first time stocks haven’t risen the day after a more than 1 percent drop since Donald Trump was elected president on Nov. 8.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and this week everybody’s who won The Blower’s “Win A Free Trip To Guam” Contest.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was explaining how President Trump would be traveling to Fort Myer in Arlington, Va., and in a big speech at 9 PM, he would be addressing U.S. troops gathered there “to provide an update on the path forward for America’s engagement in Afghanistan and South Asia. Criticism of Trump’s big speech by all members of the Destroy Trump Media has already been scheduled to begin at 9:05 PM.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Derided DemocRAT Party Chairman David Pepper, whose political history in Cincinnati contains many interesting antidotes, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (AUGUST 21) The Blower will be waiting to see how many people burned their eyes out by looking straight at the sun during Monday’s big Solar Eclipse.
TUESDAY (AUGUST 22) The Blower will be covering Trump’s big rally in Phoenix, trying to see which group shows up in greater numbers— Trump Supporters or AntiFa Terrorists.
WEDNESDAY (AUGUST 23) we’ll be checking to see if Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas’ opponent is making up any more lies about him on Facebook.
THURSDAY (AUGUST 24) we’ll be asking Disingenuous DemocRATS if they remember Friday’s the day Teddy Kennedy became a Good DemocRAT in 2009.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (AUGUST 25) Limerick is “When the kids finally go back to school”
AND SATURDAY (AUGUST 26) we’ll all be getting ready for Donald Trump’s “I Have a Dream Speech” the following Monday.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
Jerry Lewis On ISIS, Refugees, Trump And More
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of the mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call The Fishwrap.