SUNDAY, AUGUST 6, 2017
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on today’s date in 1945, the US dropped its first atomic bomb called “Little Boy” on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. On August 9, the US dropped its second atomic bomb called “Fat Man” on the Japanese city of Nagasaki. Less than a week later on August 15, the allied nations celebrated VJ Day, and on September 2, Japan signed an unconditional surrender.
MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says President Donald Trump wrote in his latest Sunday morning tweetstorm, “After many years of LEAKS going on in Washington, it is great to see the A.G. taking action! For National Security, the tougher the better!”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: August is a month for vacations and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell.
Ode to August
They’re called the “Dog Days of Summer”
Perhaps the name is right.
But when the name is action
To the cats belong the night.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Patronage County Conundrum” Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to explain once more if those people and events we read about in all those “Return to Patronage County” Columns are real people and events, or are those things just made up for the fun of it like when Oliver Swift used the island of “Lilliput” in his classic “Gulliver’s Travels” satire.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says left-wing late night comedians were really working fake news into their nightly Trump Bashing.
Jimmy Fallon said: A transcript from President Trump’s phone call with the Australian prime minister was just leaked and at one point, Trump referred to U.S. dairy farmers as local milk people. Even worse, he referred to cows as spotted milk horses.
Seth Meyers said: According to The Associated Press, President Trump will take a 17-day vacation starting tomorrow at his golf club in New Jersey. Seventeen days in New Jersey doesn’t sound like a vacation, it sounds like an episode of “I Survived.” That’s more days than Chris Christie has spent in New Jersey.
But The Lowest Blow Went To Stephen Colbert, who said: The Wall Street Journal is reporting Robert Mueller, the special counsel investigating Russia’s interference in the 2016 election, has impaneled a grand jury. I’m going to say something nobody has ever said before: “God, I wish I had jury duty!”
OBVIOUSLY, WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH FROM OUR LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS
OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says yesterday there’s a big cover-up going on the Forest Hills building project. Major budget overruns. Re-direction of funds. Breaking of levy promises. Plus more. Not a peep in the mainstream media. First question to ask: How much over budget are you? If the answer you get is less than eight digits, it’s a lie.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #227 says you should quote the wisdom of Al “All-American” Gore, like when he said “Who are these people?” (To a tour guide at Monticello after seeing busts of George Washington and Ben Franklin.)
JOHN GALT says, “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Major U.S. stock-market indexes are trading near record levels, but does that statistic simply mask an ominous picture that’s being painted behind the scenes? Market breadth, a measure of how many stocks are rising versus the number that are dropping, has turned “exceedingly negative.”
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Today is National Root Beer Float Day, celebrated in honor of the genius idea that somebody had more than a century ago to combine soda and ice cream in the same glass. Most importantly, Money says August 6 is one of many dates in the busy freebie calendar year when you can get free stuff. Specifically, free root beer floats are on the menu. A&W restaurant locations around the country play host to Root Beer Float Day events every August 6, and all customers are welcome to free small root beer floats with any purchase on Sunday
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about that time thirty-seven years ago, when a picture of the check to him from Stormin’ Norman’s “Committee to Elect Republicans” bearing the Hamilton County Courthouse address of “1000 Main Street” appeared on the front-page of the Sunday paper on August 10, 1980, along with legendary political reporter Bob Weston’s award-winning expose (“Republican Group Alleged to Work from County Office”).
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio’s Delusional Governor John Kasich who’s waiting to see what kind of endorsement our 2020 Presidential Candidate gets from Mitt Romney this time. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows Kasich being very cautious.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (AUGUST 7) The Blower will be checking to see how many White House Leakers have been caught.
TUESDAY (AUGUST 8) The Blower will be looking to see the latest Politically Correct Propaganda being passed off as news, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will try to come up with a few politically incorrect responses.
WEDNESDAY (AUGUST 9) will be our Official “I-Day” E-dition, but you’ll have to wait till then to find out what the “I” stands for.
THURSDAY (AUGUST 10) we’ll be waiting to see if anybody remembers that date in 1981 when Pete Rose hit a single and broke the National League all-time hit record with his 3,631 hit.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (AUGUST 11) LIMERICK IS: “When your kids finally go back to school.”
AND SATURDAY (AUGUST 12) we’ll be scarfing down shrimp at the 29th Great Inland Seafood Festival on the banks of the Ohio River in Newport, Kentucky.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
GOP Guest Hits MSNBC Host With Journalists Donating 96% to Crooked Hillary
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