SUNDAY, JULY 16, 2017
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on tomorrow’s date in 1980, Ronald Reagan formally accepted the GOP nomination for president, but he didn’t announce his running mate until later.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Reagan’s “Say hello to my former adversary, George Herbert Walker Bush.”
MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says President Donald Trump wrote in his latest Sunday morning tweetstorm, the “#fake news” media is “distorting democracy,” adding a defense of his son Donald Trump Jr. amid another tumultuous week of “slanted” and “fraudulent reporting.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Summer is well under way and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
More Seeing is Believing
Ah the wondrous days of summer
The cricket’s cheerful song.
The see-thru clothes the girlies wear
And the break-a-way lacy thong.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says left-wing late night comedians were really working fake news into their nightly Trump Bashing during the President’s Bastille Day trip to Paris.
Conan O’Brien said: “President Trump and the first lady are visiting France. Now, there have been some misunderstandings due to the language barrier, like at dinner when Melania was offered a crepe and she said, “No thanks, I’m married to one.”
Jimmy Kimmel said: “President Trump and the first lady arrived in Paris today at the invitation of French President Emmanuel Macron. [shows clip of greeting] Last time they had a handshake it lasted longer than, like, two of Trump’s marriages, so all eyes were on this one.”
But The Lowest Blow Went To Stephen Colbert, who said: “Of course Trump got asked about the biggest story in France — his son’s collusion with Russia. [clip of Trump] “He took a meeting with a Russian lawyer, not a government lawyer, but a Russian lawyer. It was a short meeting. It was a meeting that went very, very quickly, very fast.” Welcome to Trump’s America, where morality is measured by speed. Because it was over quickly, it wasn’t wrong! It’s like a five-second rule for your soul.”
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY “SPICS AND SCAMS” the Patronage County Commissioners were talking about the best way to exploit Amnesty for Illegal Immigrants right here in Patronage County. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says yesterday in The Blower’s “More Marvelous Muckraking” E-dition, we learned how The Muckraker got his start nearly thirty-seven years ago, when a picture of the check from Stormin’ Norman’s “Committee to Elect Republicans” bearing the Hamilton County Courthouse address of “1000 Main Street” appeared on the front-page of the Sunday paper on August 10, 1980, and legendary political reporter Bob Weston’s award-winning expose (“Republican Group Alleged to Work from County Office”) was just the beginning.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says President Trump ripped the roof off Twitter last week when he tweeted a meme of a WrestleMania video of him body slamming a CNN logo that had been superimposed over WWE CEO Vince McMahon’s head. The tweet triggered those on all sides of the political spectrum, drawing immediate condemnation from establishment Republicans, resistant DemocRATS and media personalities alike while apparently delighting Trump’s supporters and garnering over 600,000 likes.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #198 says never speak of “Affirmative Action” —only of “Reverse Discrimination.” Elaborate by saying how angry it makes you that talented blacks, Mexican-Americans, and others who secured their jobs and their college places purely on their own merit will forever be looked on with suspicion and resentment.
JOHN GALT says, “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says on Saturday, Trump noted that the stock market had hit an “all-time” high on Friday in spite of what he called the “hoax story” about ties between his presidential campaign and Russia. Trump tweeted: “Stock Market hit another all-time high yesterday – despite the Russian hoax story!” Trump was telling the truth.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Unfortunately, the Freedom we enjoyed last week on Independence Day was not free. Chick Fil-A gave away FREE entrees on Cow Appreciation Day earlier this week and Sunday was National Ice Cream Day and several places in Greater Cincinnati weren’t giving away FREE ice cream, but at least they were offering discounts. You could have any flavor you wanted, but if a white guy ordered chocolate, somebody would surely call him a racist.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Hurley the Historian had forgotten to mention that Thursday (July 13) was the ten-year anniversary for our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher’s long-awaited landmark hearing at the Hamilton County Board of Revulsion, after the Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor’s “certifiable” appraiser got caught trying to justify the Auditor’s bogus 41% computer-generated increased appraisal. It was our Disingenuous DemocRAT’s Disastrous Debacle, but our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press still don’t give a big rat’s ass about victims of drive-by reappraisals, or victims of drive-by shootings for that matter.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, our Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor, shown here with egg on his face ten years ago when he failed to raise Beloved Whistleblower Publisher’s Charles Foster Kane’s property taxes with that bogus 41% computer-generated increase appraisal. The picture doesn’t have Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception’s name on it, but it looks like something he would do.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JULY 17) The Blower will be remembering Donald Trump’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland last year when Ohio’s Delusiinal Republican Governor John Kasich was on the outside looking in.
TUESDAY (JULY 18) we’ll be reminding everybody about how our Kneepad Liberals in the Press covered up Teddy Kennedy’s Chappaquiddick Adventure, and our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers might have something to say about that.
WEDNESDAY (JULY 19) we’ll be getting ready to take lots of pictures of attractive undressed women at our Annual National Nude Day Photo Contest at the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence.
THURSDAY (JULY 20) we’ll be celebrating the 48th anniversary of Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JULY 21) Limerick is “Back when America put a man on the moon.”
AND SATURDAY (JULY 22) is we’ll be getting ready to celebrate Monday’s upcoming Cousins Day in Northern Kentucky featuring a lot of same-sex weddings.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
GOP Guest Hits MSNBC Host With Stat of Journalists Donating 96% to Clinton
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of the mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call The Fishwrap.