Special “Flag Day Update” E-dition

Header-July 13 Flag Day UpdateTUESDAY, JUNE 13, 2017
Tomorrow Will Not Be Just Another Patriotic Celebration

           image004Tomorrow on Flag Day, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Conservatives are glad Obama is no longer scheduled to make the customary presidential Flag Day proclamation like he did last year (It’s up to the President to declare the observance each year), but that phony flag-waver probably would’ve already extended the observance to make June “National Flag Month.” That’s if he hadn’t already set June aside to honor all the Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgenders. The Blower remembers when some Conservative radio talk show host in Nashville even scheduled an “Impeach Obama March” for Flag Day in honor of all those scandals currently plaguing our Sunshine Patriot President’s Administration.

          image007Randall the Scandal Czar says there were just too many scandals to keep track of at the Obama White House. The failure to get to the bottom of Benghazi since 2012 is still a scandal. The issue of secret subpoenas of reporters was more than scandalous. The IRS targeting of Conservative groups was most definitely a scandal. The Blower’s Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden, says the NSA’s secret data-collection efforts was a pretty big scandal, too.


          Last year on Flag Day, our Obama Scandal Scorecard also included Obama’s Veterans Administration Scandal, breaking the law to exchange five Taliban Terrorists at GITMO for a US Army Deserter. Yesterday, on the Anniversary of the Massacre in Orlando, it should’ve been painfully obvious that Obama never had a strategy (much less a clue) to defeat those Radical Islamic Terrorists, as we all could hardly wait until Obama, Michelle, and their entourage again returned to Martha’s Vineyard for last year’s final over-taxed payer funded summer vacation.


         But it really never mattered how many scandals Obama had, so long as all those those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, kept getting their free stuff.


At press time, Trump’s 2017 Flag Day Proclamation had not been published, still this year on Flag Day we’ll still be watching some un-finished Obama Scandals during the Trump Administration.



 Flag Day Parade Update


All week, The Blower has been counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the start of Wednesday’s Annual Flag Day Parade in Anderson, now being called “Annual Largest Flag Day Parade In The Area and President Donald J. Trump 71st Birthday Celebration.” Protesters are calling their event the “Flag Day/Trump’s Birthday Protest Rally.”

Tomorrow’s Parade will begin at Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas’ Cleaner Concepts, located at 7857 “PFC James Miller IV and Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway” at 11:00 AM, and proceed west to the Anderson Towne Center. All Peaceful, Caucasian, God-fearing Andersonians watching the parade are requested to stay behind the “white line,” because many of the 542 units scheduled to participate in the five-mile-long parade will be using several lanes. 

A community celebration will be held at the Anderson Towne Center immediately following the parade around 12:30 PM, and all area residents are urged to avoid a massive traffic jam at the all new World’s Most Expensive Continuous-Turn Intersection on the “PFC James Miller IV and Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway” by using Clough Pike beginning on Tuesday afternoon.

Flag Day Parade Grand Marshal, Revered Former Anderson Township Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson (no relation to Disgraced Ex-Forrest Gump Schools Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson) announced Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien would once again be permitted to attend this year’s parade, after the ousted Ex-Anderson Trustee promised on a stack of Bibles not to get himself arrested for “waving his flag” in public again, if you know what we mean. Shown below are scenes from last year’s Anderson Flag Day Parade.





 “Exploiting the Flag” By James Jay Schifrin

         image013Today in Patronage County, every politician is planning on taking part in tomorrow’s Annual Flag Day Parade, and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were talking about the best ways to exploit that day’s events.

        “That’s easy,” said Commissioner Filch. “We’ll send out an e-mail commemorating Flag Day. All we have to do is change the date on the one we sent out last year.”

        “And ask for donations while we’re at it,” added Commissioner Swindle. “People are suckers for a patriotic pitch.”

        “We have all these pamphlets about Flag Etiquette with our names stamped on them to hand out Republican Club meetings,” said Commissioner Pilfer.

        “But maybe this year we should distribute them before Flag Day, right?” Swindle asked.

        “Tell me again why we’re not selling American Flags again this year,” said Commissioner Filch.

        “Don’t you remember how all the unions complained last year when we sold all those flags with no Union Label? When’s the last time you saw an American Flag that was actually ‘Made in America?” Swindle explained.

          And since President Trump’s birthday is on Flag Day, we need to find a way to exploit that, too,” Commissioner Pilfer added.

        “And wouldn’t this be a good time for us incumbents to come up with something unpatriotic our opponents said?” asked Commissioner Filch.

        “You’re right as usual, Filch,” Swindle smiled. “I’ve already called Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWine, Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted, Congressman Jim Renacci, and Ohio Lieutenant Governor Mary Taylor to remind them about that time Disgraced DemocRAT Party Chairman David A. Pepper said, ‘burning the flag was a small price to pay for liberty.”


          This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.image003image029