TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2017
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Sorry we couldn’t find any “Honest Elected Officials” for Sunday’s “Honesty Day Edition.” —Whistleblower Researchers
I now take full responsibility. But it’s still everybody else’s fault that I lost the 2016 Election. —Crooked Hillary
It would be easy to make jokes about the way Trump bashed Saturday Night’s White House Correspondents Dinner. All you would have to do would be to tell the truth. —Jimmy Kimmel
I really meant it when I said, “We are not fake news. We are not failing news organizations. And we are not the enemy of the American people.” — WHCA President Jeff Mason
Was Trump smart to skip Saturday Night’s WHCA Dinner or what? —Chuck Todd, The Best “Meet The Depressed” Moderator Since David Gregory, Made Famous By Interviewing Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane in His Back Yard About The Cincinnati Zoo’s Threat To Kill All The Elephants If Voters Didn’t Pass Their Tax Hike
That’s why we chose Will Rogers’ “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
President Trump even trolled me to my face when he called my show “Deface the Nation.” —CBS Reporter John Dickerson
That’s why I called Trump a “cocksucker” on my Late Night Show Monday night. —Stephen Colbert
How did you like the way I stunned reporters today by leaving my daily press briefing without taking questions? —Trump’s White House press Secretary Sean Spicer
It is absolutely shameful to see the media blocking the positive message President Trump is trying to share with the country. It’s clear that CNN is trying to silence our voice and censor our free speech because it doesn’t fit their narrative. —Trump-Pence 2020 Campaign
May Day (the first of May) is celebrated around the world, especially in communist and socialist countries, where it’s a celebration for the workers. —Hurley the Historian
We were really planning a really big disruption on May Day in Cincinnati. —Antifas From Amberley
Yesterday was also “Save the Rhino Day,” but we had our own sort of celebration in mind. —RINO Hunters of America
How come The Blower forgot “Hairstyle Appreciation Day” on Monday, which allows each of us to express his special individuality? —Steve Chabothead
Thanks to Edward Cropper for helping publicize my new book. —Ohio’s Delusional Governor John Kasich
Most people were following The Blower’s advice by ignoring Cincinnati’s Meaningless Mayoral Primary today with only three Disingenuous DemocRATS running because “None Of The Above” wasn’t on the ballot. —Political Insiders At The Conservative Agenda
Demo-Labor Party Boss told me I really didn’t have to find a Republican Mayoral Candidate. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
Everybody’s wondering how many people would actually show up at the polls today. —Sherry Poland, Hamilton County Board Of Elections
Turnout was expected to be better than in 2013, when just 5.6% of voters showed up for the primary. —Foxy Roxy
You should’ve bought Apple Stock in 1987. —Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes
There are now only 385 more days until the Primary Elections in Kentucky. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Speaking of Honesty Day, every week, we feature quite a few dishonest people in my “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” newsletter. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
Everybody at my place claims he’s honest. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
You can’t cheat an honest man. —W.C. Fields
I was really surprised The Blower couldn’t find a way to work my name into Monday’s “Honesty Day E-dition.” —Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters
Please ask Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball what he thinks of our chances this year. —Florence Freedom Fans, waiting for Opening Night on May 17
Some anchorbimbos I’ve written about even wonder if “Honesty” includes cheating on your spouse. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
If cleanliness is next to Godliness, then “Honesty” is next to impossible. —TV19’s Trish the Dish
Adulterous Anchorbimbos used to be our most popular perk. —TV5 News
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower questions a person’s motives to show that dishonesty of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an elected official.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially philandering politicians.
DISHONEST POLITICANS HOTLINE
e-mail your egregious examples today.
Some cynically critical items in today’s Blower were sent in by our really cynically critical subscribers.
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From ‘Hope’ to Hypocrisy: The Senator Who Became A Sellout
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.