FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 2017
Your Tax Return Is Due Next Tuesday
Earlier today, The Blower reported about how over-taxed payers who really hate paying taxes no longer even vaguely remember last year’s so called Cincinnati TEA Party Tax Day Rally.
But Local Anti-Taxers will never forget that totally FREE April 15 Anti-Tax Day Rally The Whistleblower helped put on back in 1993. That was a real Anti-Tax Day Rally!
Today’s local TEA Partiers are living in the past keep when they talk about the way they “launched the Cincinnati TEA Party all those years ago,” but long-time Persons of Consequence on both sides of the river know it’s not exactly a new idea.
The Blower helped come up with the “Taxed Enough Already” theme for the TEA Bag Lady in Delhi when her “Taxed Enough Already, Incorporated” was actually first formed
So Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Patriotic Brewer Samuel Adams, whose Sons of Liberty organization carried out the original Boston Tea Party. Guys from all walks of colonial society (including artisans, craftsmen, business owners, tradesmen, apprentices, and common laborers) organized to defend their rights and to protest and undermine British rule. Hurley the Historian says some of the famous folks included John Adams, John Hancock, James Otis, Josiah Quincy, Paul Revere, and Dr. Joseph Warren.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting rabble-rousing anti-taxers who actually accomplish something to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Samuel Adams’ “We cannot make events. Our business is wisely to improve them.”
“HOW ECONOMIC STIMULUS REALLY WORKS” by John Maynard Tadwell
Sometime this year, we overtaxed payers hope to receive another “Economic Stimulus” payment (aka Tax Refund). This is indeed a very exciting program, and we’ll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an “Economic Stimulus” payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to overtaxed payers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From overtaxed payers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China.
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!
“STOP TRASHING OBAMA” by Colonel Robert F. Cunningham and Patrick Rishor
We wish people would quit trashing all of Obama’s accomplishments. He’s has done more than any other President before him. Here is a list of his most impressive accomplishments:
First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States.
First President to violate the War Powers Act.
First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico.
First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
First President to spend a trillion dollars on “shovel-ready” jobs when there was no such thing as “shovel-ready” jobs.
First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.
First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.
First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Chrysler) to resign.
First President to terminate America’s ability to put a man in space.
First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation.
First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.
First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.
First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases.
First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.
First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).
First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.
First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal).
First President to fire an inspector general of AmeriCorps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.
First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.
First President to surround himself with radical left wing anarchists.
First President to golf more than 150 separate times in his five years in office.
First President to hide his birth, medical, educational and travel records.
First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.
First President to go on multiple “global apology tours” and concurrent “insult our friends” tours.
First President to go on over 17 lavish vacations, in addition to date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the over-taxed payers.
First President to have personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.
First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at over-taxed payers’ expense.
First President to fly in a personal trainer from Chicago at least once a week at over-taxed payers’ expense.
First President to repeat the Holy Quran and tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.
First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American 50 states (Mexico vs Arizona).
First President to tell the military men and women that they should pay for their own private insurance because they “volunteered to go to war and knew the consequences.”
Then he was the First President to tell the members of the military that THEY were UNPATRIOTIC for balking at the last suggestion. (Thank God, he didn’t get away with THIS one.)
How is this hope and change’ working out for you?
It’s hard to comprehend all this guy has gotten away with. Any other president would have been impeached!!!!
What in God’s name was wrong with our government that they allow this guy carte blanc. It absolutely boggles the mind.
“Can’t Handle the Truth” by Colonel Nathan R. Jessep
A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up – fireman, mechanic, businessman, car salesman… and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside. “Is that really true about your father?”
“No,” the boy said, “He works for the DemocRAT National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids.”
AND A QUICKIE By Scott Scofflaw
I just received an audit on my tax return for 2012 back from the IRS. They are questioning how many dependents I claimed when I responded to the question: “List all dependents?”
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployed people on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; Half of Mexico; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate.” Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I keep asking myself, “Who the hell did I miss?”
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
More Tax Day E-Cards
Stories We Were Working On
First Trump Wiped Assad’s Syrian Air Force Base Off The Face Of The Earth
Then Trump Used The Mother Of All Bombs Against Isis In Afghanistan
“Seal Team Six” Is In South Korea For “Training”
China Sends Warning To North Korea Not To Mess With Us
The Navy’s Uss Carl Vinson Strike Force Is Where It Needs To Be
So Now, Trump Tells North Korea, “Let’s Negotiate!”
Whistleblower Taxed-to-the-Max Web Poll
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said will be the most creative deduction on their tax forms:
(A) Mortgage interest on foreclosed houses: 2%
(B) Cable bills as “media research”: 1%
(C) Claiming your dog as a dependent, because he’s just like one of the family: 1%
(D) Viagra: 96%
TURBO-TAXED PAYERS HOT LINE
E-mail your tax cheating tips today
Some non-deductible items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally non-deductible subscribers.
Whistleblower Over-Taxed Payers Video of the Day
Liberal Taxes Explained
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Charlie Norman, who claims he’s honored to be an Elections Administrator at the Hamilton County Board of Elections, whatever the hell that is.)