Daily Archives: March 16, 2017

Special “Draining The Swamp” E-dition

Thursday, March 16, 2017
And There’s More Than Just One Swamp That Needs Draining

At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all the fun Trump is having these days “Draining The Swamp” in Washington, DC. 

“ ‘Draining the Swamp’ is a term which has been used primarily by American politicians,” Kane explained. “The term alludes to the historical draining of swamps to keep mosquito populations low to combat malaria. The term was used as a metaphor by Ronald Reagan, who called for ‘draining the swamp’ of bureaucracy in the federal government in 1983. Donald Trump began using it describe his plan to fix problems in the federal government during his 2016 presidential campaign. 

But according to the Conservative Movement’s Hilarious Happy Warrior M. Stanton Evans, “The trouble with Conservatives is that too many of them come to Washington thinking they are going to drain the swamp, only to discover that Washington is a hot tub.” 

 “And Washington DC isn’t the only swamp,” Kane added. “A lot of swamps closer to home need draining too.” For example, we have State Swamps in Columbus and Frankfort. And hereabouts, we have The Cincinnati Swamp, the Hamilton County Swamp, and especially, the RINO-Infested Swamp at 700 Walnut Street. 

We witnessed a pretty good example of that last week when Delusional Ohio Republican Governor John Kasich once again rejected the Hamilton County RINO Party’s recommendation on a routine judicial appointment. Kasich’s selection of Clermont Carpetbagger Curt Hartman was just one more total humiliation for Alex T, Mall Cop GOP, who is no doubt planning to run his choice, Wood & Lamping attorney Dale Stalf against Hartman in a primary next year.

The Blower says somebody ought to explain the entire judicial selection process.  That way the public could actually see the qualifications of those political appointees who are selected and those who are not. 

And when long-time Whistleblower Person-of-Consequence Hartman bangs his first gavel at 1000 Main Street next Monday, will he be wearing his powdered white wig like you see in the movies? “Probably not,” Curt says, “Maybe I should just wear my Donald Trump Wig, like I do around at home.”