SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2016
You’re Traveling Through Another Dimension…
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane recalls last Thanksgiving when he had been talked into showing up at neighbor’s house for Thanksgiving Day Dinner. Waiting for the meal to be served, he spent the time half asleep watching “The Twilight Zone” on the neighbor’s Netflix. That was probably his first mistake.
Because after Kane entered the dining room and sat down at the table, the founder of the Conservative Agenda discovered himself at a “Thanksgiving Dinner in The Twilight Zone.”
Everybody had to hold hands as the host said grace, so Kane figured he hadn’t been dragged to some Whacko Liberal’s house for dinner. That was his second mistake.
The host also mentioned he was a veteran, having served 17 years in the U.S. Navy. “Way to go,” Kane thought, “This guy must be a Conservative.” That, of course, was Kane’s third mistake.
The Navy Veteran host, who’d just said grace (so Kane mistakenly assumed must be some kind of a Conservative Christian), started things off by volunteering that he’d voted for Obama twice, and would vote for him again, if he only had the chance.
A woman passed out copies of Hillary’s Thanksgiving Day Dinner Talking Points, because she just wanted to “share.” “She couldn’t wait till Hillary was president, since it was her turn.
Finally, Kane could hardly stand it. “What about Donald Trump?” our Conservative Publisher asked. That, as you may have already guessed, was his fourth mistake, because instantly afterwards, one of the other guests passed out copies of the “DemocRAT Party’s Official Trump-Bashing Talking Points,” which people around the table took turns reciting.
For Kane, enduring the next ninety minutes was like being chained to a chair on the set of one of those PMSNBC Talk shows, where all the guests and moderators tried to each out-Liberal other. He was actually surrounded by Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, But Failed To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
In all fairness, Kane thought the turkey and dressing wasn’t half bad, but the Liberal Kool-aid was more than he could stomach..