SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2016
SHOCKER: Even After He Leaves Office, Obama Plans To Oppose Trump
Meanwhile, Putin Says Meeting With Trump Confirmed, Willing to Mend Ties
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1945, twenty-four high-ranking Nazis went on trial in Nuremberg, Germany, for atrocities committed during World War II. Hurley also says, according to USA Today, although it took about 70 years from being the world’s pariah in the decades following Nazism and World War II, Germany became the world’s favorite country, according to the Anholt-Gfk Nations Brand Index, which measures the image of 50 leading nations. The Teutonic powerhouse knocked the United States from its longtime perch at the top of the ratings in 2014, which measured “twenty-three different attributes that make up the six overall dimensions on which national image is based.”
You can’t believe all those horrible jokes they told about Germans during WWII like Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave?
A: It’s got ten seats inside. Maybe that’s why during Oktoberfest, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane always says, “The only trouble with German food is, an hour later you’re hungry for power.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Voters are closely divided over whether the street protests against Donald Trump’s election are the product of genuine concern or just being staged by troublemakers. But most agree the protests won’t achieve anything good.
THURSDAY NIGHT OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER LIKED JIMMY FALLON, who said: Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, “I’m eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.” While Biden said, “If you tell the waiter it’s your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.”
CONAN O’BRIEN said: During President Obama’s visit to Greece yesterday, huge anti-Obama protests broke out. However, Obama was able to quiet down the crowd by saying, “Wait till you see the next guy.”
JAMES CORDEN said: Today was the American Cancer Society’s Great American Smoke-out event, which encourages people to stop smoking and help their loved ones do the same. That’s right, quit smoking a week after Trump was elected. Good luck with that.
JIMMY KIMMEL said: Hillary Clinton was in our nation’s capital last night. She confessed there were times in the past week she just wanted to curl up and never leave the house again. That’s when Bill stepped in and said, “Oh, yes, she will.”
SETH MEYERS said: Hillary Clinton made her first appearance since the election last night and told the crowd, “There had been a few times this past week when all I wanted to do is just to curl up with a good book or our dogs and never leave the house again.” Oh, sure, NOW you’re relatable.
AND STEPHEN COLBERT said: Trump’s transition continues its transitioning. Don’t know a lot about what’s going on, but I do know that his team has not yet called the Pentagon, possibly because he knows more than the generals. Or maybe he’s never going to call them. He’ll just launch a literal tweet war: “@Pentagon, please bomb Syria. #LyingNewYorkTimes.”
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves is already in the kitchen whipping up a batch of Wilford Brimley’s Erotic Stuffing Mix for Thanksgiving, but he still had time to dash off a couple of early Turkey Day odes:
Too much turkey
And cranberry jelly
Too little trousers
To cover my belly
To get government job
Is my hope
Then go to the airport
To get a grope.
LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Turkey Shoot” we heard that it was time to start taking your gratitude pills, folks. That way you’ll be suitably grateful next week on Thanksgiving Day. Except, of course, if you’re the turkey
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER can never quite forget the 2015 Election: it was a combination of DemocRAT Dishonesty and Republican mistakes that will still be giving the Voters of Anderson a government they will still truly deserve for at least the next 1,080 Days until “Dee Day” on November 5, 2019.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #327 is when the holidays finally roll around, always say: “Merry Christmas,” never “Happy Holidays.” Not only do 70 percent of Americans prefer it—according to Rasmussen polls—but you are much more likely to offend a liberal. While 88 percent of Republican voters prefer “Merry Christmas,” only 57 percent of DemocRATS do.
GOING GALT means recognizing that you do not need to justify your life or wealth to your neighbors, “society,” or politicians, or bureaucRATS. They’re yours, period!
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Strength in the U.S. markets following the general election a week and a half ago is beginning to give way toward new realities and concerns, such as a strengthening dollar making headwinds for domestic exports. Basically, good fortunes here as of late look to be creating a bit of sticker shock elsewhere, as U.S. goods and services become more expensive overseas.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Saturday was the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2016 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).
And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).
And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way American Values have been continually denigrated during the Age of Obama as our nation is have being taken over by those who will destroy it Morally, Financially, and Politically. It’s not just the Stupid People who voted for Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS, but the rest of us have also allowed it to happen, all in the Names Of Ignorance, Apathy, Laziness, and Being Politically Correct. Shame on all of us for continuing to let it happen
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman and his hopes to be John Kasich’s running mate, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Eldon Pudpuller, a very troubled 12-year-old lad who ran up a whopping $38,000 telephone bill last month making calls to 1-900 phone-sex lines, all because his hero, Disgraced Former Masturbating Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien had “Gotten off” on a technicality for trying to “get off” in front of a Wellborn woman and Eldon couldn’t combine “whacking off” with show-and-tell at his Forrest Gump School. The Forest Hills Urinal got hold of the story, and now none of the Pudpullers can show their faces in public.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (NOVEMBER 21) The Blower will be getting ready for the Holiday Season and telling you why we should all be thankful, while we’re continuing to count down the 60 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (NOVEMBER 22) we’ll be trying to remember if anything really important happened in America on that date, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be all over that.
WEDNESDAY (NOVEMBER 23) we’ll be getting ready for the Whistleblower’s 65th Annual Seediest Kids of All Campaign (not associated with the Failed United Way) featuring some truly inspirational stories about the waifs and urchins we claim to have helped in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky, just so you’ll believe we actually give a big rat’s ass.
THURSDAY (NOVEMBER 25) we’ll be announcing the winners of the 2015 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant),” and we hope you’ll be surprised.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (NOVEMBER 26) LIMERICK IS: “The best part of Thanksgiving Day.”
AND SATURDAY (NOVEMBER 27) we’ll be trying to explain why all those “Black Friday” Sales aren’t really racist.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. Whistleblower Video Of The Day
Published on Nov 20, 2015 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hillary Clinton had balled up all the aggression from her defeat at the hands of Barack Obama to fuel her bid for the White House. She was on track to be the DemoRAT Party presidential candidate for 2016. And we can’t think of a better way to celebrate her humiliating defeat than to have a laugh at her shortcomings.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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