TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2016
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Now that the campaign is finally over, can we stop un-reporting how much larger and more enthusiastic Trump’s rallies were during the 2016 campaign? —Crooked Hillary’s Supporters in the Press
We were really surprised to find a woman who had not voted for Hillary. —CNN
If Hillary wins the Tri-State, it will only be because we endorsed her.—Feckless Fishwrappers
Could we please have a short Election Day Extension? We still haven’t made up our minds. — Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19
Wait a minute. My campaign’s still not over yet. I came back to Ohio to work at the polls on Election Day. —Ohio Delusional Governor John Kasich
With all the polls so close, maybe the only poll that really counts is the one on Election Day when real people actually vote. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron RasmusseN
Today could be America’s Independence Day. —Donald Trump
What if tonight’s election ended in a tie (269-269 Electoral Votes)? Then it would be decided by the House of Representatives with each state getting one vote. Fortunately, Republican control 33 of those state delegations. —Hurley the Historian
Sorry, Hillary, our exit polls showed us that voters were looking for a “strong leader.” —Morning Consult
Did you see the survey that said only half the black preachers used their pulpits to campaign illegally for Hillary? —Pew Research
Obama told us to vote for DemocRATS and we wouldn’t be prosecuted. —Illegal Aliens For Hillary
We didn’t know it was wrong to pressure non citizens to vote. Besides, sometimes we were just driving them to the polls and giving them free ice cream. —Union Goons for Hillary
We just got an e-mail from Hillary’s campaign urging us to commit rampant voter fraud today. —Obsessive Hillary Supporters Tom and Rose
Please don’t ask how many billions of over-taxed payers’ dollars were borrowed from China so Obama could fly around the country on Air Force One fund-raising and campaigning during the past eight years. —General Accounting Office
It was just like magic seeing one of George Soros’ voting machines change our Trump ballots to Hillary votes right before our very eyes. —Republican Voters in Pennsylvania
Any day now we’ll be releasing those e-mails that will knock Hillary out of the race. —Wickileaks
The problem isn’t so much that Hillary is a corrupt, lying criminal. Everybody knows this. The problem is that we just don’t care. —Hillary Supporters
Hillary Supporters must be so Stupid, they don’t realize how Stupid they really were. —John Podesta
Voting lines didn’t look too faggy this morning. Hillary’s supporters must’ve been still getting their beauty sleep, so Trump was up early in 45212. —Your Branch Norwoodian
There were a lot of scruffy looking people at my Price Hill polling place this morning. I sure hope some of them were Republicans. —Bobby Leach
Do you think President Trump will be asking me to be in his Cabinet? —Northern Kentucky Trump Volunteer Spokesman Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
Is America a great country or what? Billions of dollars have been spent on false-and-misleading ads during dirtiest campaign in history. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
Why did all those Stupid Hillary Supporters stand in long lines for early voting? Because Disingenuous DemocRATS told them it would be more convenient. —“Ripley’s Believe It Or Not”
Did anybody really hear me say I’d retire if Hillary elected? —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
If you don’t vote, you’re leaving the decision to somebody even dumber than you are. —Jesse “The Body” Ventura
Remember what we always say: “A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. — Loony Libertarians
If Hillary’s supporters are so sure of winning, where will her big Victory Party be held tonight? —Freeloading DemocRATS
No matter who wins tonight, The Blower will be covering the Post-Election Chaos tomorrow. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Hey, Everybody… Trish the Dish wants to know if they’re actually holding elections in Kentucky today. —TV 19 News
What happened to all the clocks? —TV 5’s Sheree Paolello
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Newspaper Idiotorials to show that interchanging endorsements and news coverage is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a totally discredited publication.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Feckless Fishwrappers.
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The Blower believes today will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance the Liberal Agenda.