TUESDAY, MARCH 8, 2016        

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers    

We’re really trying to hype our coverage of today’s four crappy “proportional” primaries in Michigan, Mississippi, Idaho, and Hawaii as the two presidential front-runners Hillary and Donald Trump are both trying to build on their momentum and pad their leads as they look to put the races away by the end of the month, so how about if we call it “Super Tuesday Two” —TV Networks

Yesterday Hillary swore on a stack of Bibles that neither she nor any members of her staff had been told that they are the targets of the investigation into the mishandling of classified information on her private email server. —Bret Baier at FOX NEWS

The truth about Bill Clinton’s women should’ve destroyed Hillary’s political career long ago. —Paula Jones

How’s this for racial healing— only Black people can be poor and live in bad neighborhoods. —Bernie “Get Your Free Stuff Here” Sanders

Please stop comparing me to Donald Trump. You’re giving me a bad name. —Adolf Hitler

Trump was good in the beginning, but he just went too far. —Marge Schott

Does anybody remember the 2012 Michigan Republican Primary when I pulled off a narrow win in the state my father had governed? —Mitt Romney

Please stop asking me if I should get out of the race BEFORE the Florida Primary. —Marco Rubio

Just remember, the 2016 Republican Primaries will start over when our endorsed candidate John Kasich wins the Ohio Primary next Tuesday. —Feckless Fishwrappers

Citizens for Community Values Action PAC (CCVA PAC) is pleased to endorse Senator Ted Cruz for United States President in the 2016 Primary Election. —Phil Burr-ass

And here’s more good news for the Republican establishment: Only 24% of GOP Voters Are Very Likely to Vote for Trump If He Runs as a Third-Party Candidate. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen

Ohio Governor Kasich and the Ohio Republican Party have succeeded in their goal of denying as many as one million Ohio Republican Voters their right to vote for the Republican Presidential Nominee of their choice in this year’s Republican Primary.  —Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Zawistowski

Folks in Cleveland don’t want you to ask why they need to stock up on all that riot gear for Governor Kasich’s brokered Republican National Convention this summer. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders

What do you think of my patriotic Gary Burbank “Earl Pitts” Commercials? —Ohio Second District Podiatrist/ Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup

With only seven more days until the March 15 Ohio Primary Elections, is it too early to start putting up my yard signs to defending my seat in the State Legislature? —“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman

Have they sold all the seats to hear me explain how we plan to Indict Hillary at Friday night’s Clermont County Republican Party Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner? —South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy

How many people will be willing to pay to hear me speak at Saturday’s 17th Annual Northeast Hamilton County Republican Pancake Breakfast? —Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriages” Portman

Please don’t ask why Donald Trump did so poorly in Kenton, Campbell, and Boondoggle Counties. —“Crazy Eric” Deters (Getting All The Credit He Deserves As The Trumpster’s So-Called Northern Kentucky Campaign Mangler)

Here’s today’s Women’s History Month Moment: “What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.” —Francine The Feisty Feminist

When are we supposed to change the clocks? —“Trish The Dish,” TV 19 News

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Elected Officials.

PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only 643 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

   Sometimes The Blower makes fun of the Political Elite to show that rigging Presidential Primaries will not be tolerated in our Society.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially the Members of the Political Establishment.  SUPER TUESDAY TWO HOT LINE

e-mail your partisan preferences today.

Some Politically Obsessed items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Politically Obsessed subscribers.

 WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

          Can Trump and Clinton rebound after rocky weekend?

 

 

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

 

 

 

 

 

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here