FRIDAY, MARCH 4, 2016
Supporting Our Political Prostitutes
In The Blower’s Wednesday’s Wild Cards E-dition, we saw where our Feckless Fishwrappers had selected Nick Vehr to be that day’s local RINO Party “Trump Basher,” even featuring the former Cincinnati City Clowncilman and Olympics Scammer in a really lame video video, along with including the name of his business with his guest column. That humongous waste of bandwidth was so ridiculous, The Blower was wondering how long it would take Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters to threaten to sue The Fishwrap, if they didn’t give him equal space to rebut Vehr’s vicious comments about Donald Trump, especially since the last we heard, “Crazy Eric” was still claiming to be Trump’s Official Campaign Chairman in Northern Kentucky for tomorrow’s Republican Caucuses in the Bluegrass.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Clermont County Rabble-Rouser Tom Dix from Moscow, Ohio, who says, I’m a lifelong Republican and I respect Vehr, but I have to get this off of my chest. Vehr, like so many elitist Republicans, just cannot stand the fact that Donald Trump has come out of nowhere to capture, in ever-growing numbers, the hearts and minds of disenfranchised Republicans and recent crossover DemocRATS. These god-fearing, hard-working Americans are very concerned that our great nation is in decline and could even face bankruptcy because of the intertwined actions, over the years, of big government, big corporations, the political elite, academia and the media.
Trump is only the manifestation of this rapidly growing distrust of the so called smart folks who have been running our country for many years (look at the condition of our country). My original choice for the Republican nominee was Ted Cruz, but l’ve now jumped on the Trump band wagon because of the groundswell of support for Trump from common Americans, he can and will win in November.
One final item, the thought of Vehr and his Iike-minded Republicans not voting for Trump should he become the Republican candidate in November, reminds me of spoiled children who take their toys and go home when they do not get their way. Nick Vehr. . .you’re a better man than your Trump non-voting commitment in your Op Ed.
Which is why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting Clermont County Rabble Rousers, to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
Pelosi Declared a “Saint” by Father Guido Sarducci
Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, “No. I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.”
Pelosi’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”
The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”
As Pelosi’s aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.
The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, “While Congresswoman Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.
Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed.
She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people.
She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.”
The Cardinal concluded, “But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint.”
HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK by Reverend Norman Vincent Peale
Open a new file in your computer.- Name it ‘Barack Obama’.
- Send it to the Recycle Bin.
- Empty the Recycle Bin.
- Your PC will ask you: ‘Do you really want to get rid of ‘Barack Obama?’
- Firmly Click ‘YES.’
- Feel better?
GOOD – Tomorrow we’ll do Nancy Pelosi.
Breaking News – Bruce Jenner Transition Fires New Speculation
Wash. DC – Over the past year a rash of news stories surfaced speculating whether gold-medal winning Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner was undergoing a gender transition from male to female. Though Jenner has yet to publicly confirm the story, members of his extended family, including the Kardashian clan, have recently approached various news outlets confirming Jenner’s intention.
Now it appears a number of world leaders have picked up on the story and are wondering aloud “What will happen to Jenner’s balls if he completes the transition?” Sources this week quoted Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu as suggesting it would be a monumental step if Jenner were to donate his balls to U.S. President Barack Obama. Netanyahu stated “Everyone knows Obama has no balls and it would be damn nice if he suddenly had Olympic sized balls. It would be a huge step forward for world peace.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel remarked ” I don’t even have any balls, but everyone tells me I have a bigger set than Obama. I think it would be a great idea.
On the other hand, Russian President Vladimir Putin joined Syrian President Bashar Assad in proclaiming that Obama’s lack of balls has finally enabled a number of regimes worldwide a fair chance to consolidate their power. Putin, on a shirtless fly fishing expedition in Kanchatka, said “The days of U.S. Presidents with big balls like Reagan are over. Now it’s our turn.
Iranian President Hassan Rouhani remarked earlier in the week that “It’s been great the last six years. It’s like playing soccer against the U.S. with no goalie in their net.
While world leaders debate the issue, closer to home New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady stepped forward to say they would each donate one ball to the President if Jenner does not come through. Belichick, however, cautioned that “The President would have to understand, our balls would be under inflated, but still probably an improvement over what he seems to be working with.”
AND A QUICKIE from Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer.”
Wife texts back five minutes later: “Your Computer is really messed up now.”
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Women’s History Month Special
Here’s why Hillary doesn’t want anybody to see what’s in her private e-mails.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
More Stories We’re Working On
WAGES DROP
U-6 UNEMPLOYMENT RATE Stands At 9.7%
93,688,000 AMERICANS Not in Labor Force…
DEFICIT WITH CHINA GROWS…
EXPORTS hit 5-1/2-year low…
GOLD SOARS into bull market as growth fears mount…
ROGERS: 100% Probability of Recession
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said their favorite holiday in March was:
(A) Political Backstabbers Day on the Ides of March: 2%
(B) St. Patrick’s Day on March 17: 1%
(C) The arrival of Spring on March 20: 1%
(D) BB&BJ Day: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
CELEBRATING WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite “So this feminist walks into a bar” jokes today.
Some estrogen infused items in today’s Blower
were sent in our estrogen infused, Subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Women’s History Month with Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting
(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Christa Carr Criddle who says, “Don’t Give A Shit, Vote Honey Badger”)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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