Special “Early Exit Polls” E-dition



For Tonight’s Race In South Carolina

image004COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA: Noted South Carolina Political Reporter Gamecock Tadwell says over the years and after painstaking methodical research, The Whistleblower Newswire has found the Hamlet in the Palmetto State that best represents the voters.

image006Over the last several elections this outcome in South Carolina has virtually mirrored the state and national vote outcomes and The Blower can now confidently predict Donald Trump will be the image006winner of all fifty delegates in this winner-take-all state, barring of course extensive voter fraud by the Cruz Campaign or an influx of recently naturalized Rubio Voters.

The only polling location in image006Possum Bottom, South Carolina (pop. 5) opened this morning at 7 AM and closed after the last vote was cast at 7:12 AM.

image006All votes were tabulated and certified by 7:13 AM.

image006Based on our exclusive exit polls where all five voters in Possum Bottom were given “Trump That Bitch” bumper stickers, Donald Trump has been projected as the landslide winner, with 4 votes, along with one write in vote for sentimental favorite Strom Thurmond, who would have never surrendered the Flag of the South to them damn Yankee carpetbaggers from up north.image007