WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2016

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

With only “272” more days until the 2016 Presidential Elections, would anybody like to hear who’ll be dropping out after New Hampshire’s First-in-the-Nation Primaries last night? — Noted New Hampshire Political Reporter Manchester Tadwell

My big win was “Yuge!” —Donald Trump

Please don’t forget to mention my BFD win in Dixville Notch. —Ohio Governor John Kasich

We say Kasich’s less-that-16% second-place finish vaults him into “GOP Prominence.” —Kasich Cheerleaders At The Fishwrap

As soon as all of our 23 Republican apportioned delegates have been allocated, can we go back to sleep until 2020? —Irrelephant Elephants in the Granite State

But if there was ever a question that the main stream media is nothing more than the propaganda arm of the DemocRAT party, you should’ve seen us reporting last night’s Primary Results. — Hillary Supporters-In-The-Press

New Hampshire voters must not have been impressed Ted Cruz’s big win at last week’s Iowa Caucuses. —Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Michelson

Both of my delegates agree that New Hampshire voters have “reset” the 2016 Presidential Race. —Jeb Bush

Last week when I came in third in Iowa, the Liberal Media declared me the winner. —Marco Rubio

I’m heading home to “take a deep breath” and take stock of my struggling presidential bid. I’d banked on a strong finish in Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary, despite ending up far off the pace after holding more than 70 town halls events over the past few months. —New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

Last night I told my supporters in Manchester “I’m not going to sit down and be quiet, and neither are you.” —Carly Fiorina

My former campaign chairman Barry Bennett promised I was going to win Iowa and New Hampshire. —Ben Carson

Can Trump be stopped? Maybe not! —Ohio First District Congressman Steve Chabothead

If he’s the Republican nominee, I would support him. —Ohio Second District Podiatrist/ Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, Who Survived an Un-endorsement Vote in Clermont County Last Week

Despite her crushing loss, Hillary will still get more delegates than Bernie. —Disingenuous DemocRAT National Committee For Hillary

How bitter was my concession speech last night? —Hillary

Obama’s debt is just a drop in the bucket compared to what I’m proposing. Entitlements would be $18 trillion during my first term ALONE. —DemocRAT Socialist Bernie Sanders

Reservations are closing today at 5PM to pay all that money to attend our big Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner at Music Hall on Friday. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

Don’t forget, I’m also scheduled to be in town for a fund-raiser for Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund at the Contemporary Arts Center on Friday, too. —Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-In-Chief Bill Clinton

Our Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner isn’t until March 11. —Clermont County Cronies

We’re still waiting for a press release from Rand Paul tell us how much money he has left in his campaign account after he dropped out last week. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

On this date in 1996 Russian world chess champion Gary Kasparov lost the first game of a six-game match against Deep Blue, an IBM computer capable of evaluating 200 million moves per second. —Hurley the Historian

That’s no big deal. One time I played 93 games of chess simultaneously and I lost every game! —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

When did you say they’ll be having those Caucuses in Kentucky? —Trish “The Dish,” TV 19 News

Sheree Paolello wants to cover it live. —Jack Atherton, formerly TV5 News, now appearing on Channel 22.45 in Dayton Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Mainstream Media Election Coverage to show that biased reporting for political purposes will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Left-Wing Journalist.This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Obama and Hillary Supporters in the Press