Thursday, January 7, 2016
Which Left More Shrimp For The Rest Of Us
This afternoon, The Blower e-mailed Persons of Consequence on The Official Whistleblower Subscribers List to let them know why their Tuesday editions had not arrived.
That surely put a damper on The Blower’s Double Secret Surprise Birthday Party Celebration for our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane tonight, and that fake Twitter message announcing the event had been cancelled also kept some of the people away.
The result was: the number of local celebrities who actually showed up for the party, after the after-party, of the birthday party, was a lot fewer than we’d expected. Thankfully, Award Winning Illustrator Artis Conception was on hand to shows us who actually showed up.
CINCINNATI MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY, who had claimed he would never allow a party like this to take place on his watch when he found out no Muslims had been invited, actually attended.
SEMPER SI LEIS, who says I’d really rather be swimming naked at the Cincinnati Athletic Club, actually attended.
ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS, who just got his ass reamed by Hamilton County Judges Foley and Kubicki, attended the party.
DETROIT POLICE CHIEF JAMES CRAIG, who says, “Michigan doesn’t make you take a test to be a police chief so I like it there a lot better,” actually attended.
FOXY ROXY QUALLS, who’s still trying to sell everybody million dollar property along the streetcar route, actually attended.
HAMILTON COUNTY PROSECUTOR “JAYWALKING JOE” DETERS, who said, “isn’t it a coincidence the guy who was appointed to take Commissioner Greg Hartmann’s place and I have the same name,” actually attended.
“MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT, who said she’s still waiting for Joe Braun to tell her whether she should run against “Bronze Star Brad” Wentstrup in the March 15 Republican Primary, actually showed up
LAURE “NOT SO CLEANLIVIN”, who can now be a full time “Slut for Hillary” along with Denise Dreihaus (like we were for Obama), actually attended.
AND OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, who said, “Please don’t ask what I’m doing with my right hand,” actually attended.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our January fund-raising drive by the Ticket Scalpers, with plenty of good tickets for Saturday night’s Bengals-Steelers Playoff Game.
POST-PARTY DEPRESSION HOT LINE
e-mail us something today to try to cheer us up
Some really depressing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really depressing subscribers.Whistleblower Video of the Day
So God Made A Liberal…
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.