WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6, 2016
It’s a Thankless Job, But Somebody’s Got To Do It
The day after Blubbering Barry’s Blundering Bawling Blunderbuss Control Announcement, Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda were still mocking Obama’s pathetic political performance. Obama’s White House Propaganda Minister Josh Earnest defending Obama’s fake tears, saying “It’s his party and he’ll cry if he wants to.”
Even the Kneepad Dissociated Press understood all those so-called gun control measures our tearful President announced Tuesday wouldn’t have prevented the slaughter of 20 first-graders at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut; 14 county workers at a holiday party in San Bernardino, California; or a dozen moviegoers in Aurora, Colorado.
Our Late Night TV Joke Watcher thought Obama’s Ridiculous Remarks would be a gold mine of material for Tuesday night’s programs. But Jimmy Fallon only had a Hillary and Trump joke. Conan O’Brien tried to get laughs with El Nino. James Corden thought Airbnb (the online service where people can rent out their homes as a hotel alternative) would be funny. Stephen Colbert was droning on about someone stealing Abraham Lincoln’s hands at a museum in Kankakee, Illinois. And the best Seth Meyers could come up with was “Obama this afternoon said that guns should come with new safety devices because “if a kid can’t open aspirin they shouldn’t be able to pull a trigger.” And the gun lobby plans to cooperate by making aspirin bottles easier to open.” Maybe their writers will do better tonight.
The guys at Fire Andrea Mitchell say, “You know, with all the complaints about how ‘white’ the Oscars are, here is a perfect chance to give Obama an academy award for his dramatic fascist performance today. It’s win-win. The lily-white Hollywood leftists can finally give a black guy an award and claim they aren’t just like their KKK grandparents and racists.
“So let’s review. Obama cries like a choomganger and the media fawns. John Boehner cried like a mentally unstable drunk and the media would mock. Talk about double standards.”