TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2015

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Now that the 2015 Attorney Hunting Rules have been posted in Monday’s Blower, any person with a valid Kentucky Attorney Hunting License may harvest attorneys thru the end of the year. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

Remember, Guns don’t kill lawyers. Only people kill lawyers. —Billy Bob Carbine

We’ll sue everybody! —Swindel & Scheister Attorneys at Law

Surely if Obama’s Doofus Vice President Joe Biden decides he’s not finally getting into the 2016 Presidential Race to totally screw things up for Hillary, he wouldn’t make that announcement before Thursday when Hillary has to testify before the House Select Committee on Benghazi. —Cynical Biden Watchers

On this day in on this date in 1944, U.S. General Douglas MacArthur kept his promise to return to the Philippines, but now Obama is kicking the can to the next president to win the war in Afghanistan. —Hurley the Historian

That’s why we chose Doug’s “It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it.”—Your Quote for Today Committee

Thanks for reminding everybody about our campaign problems yesterday in The Blower’s “Kasich Kritique.” —Kasich for America

How stupid were we to approve a big raise for City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black without a “performance review?” — Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley and his Nine Fine Clowns

Can anybody enter The Blower’s Limerick Contest this week that starts off with “When Clown-cil gives ‘Baltimore Harry’ a big raise?” —City Hall Snitches

Did anybody care what happened at my crappy debate with Gayvenor Strickland at that Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Dinner last night? —PG Sitt-in-Spin

Is it only a coincidence that both Cincinnati Parks Levy proponent Brewster Rhoads and Cincinnati Parks Levy Critic Don Mooney have been Persons of Consequence on The Blower’s exclusive e-mail list forever? —Whistleblower Subscribers List Managers

Will we at least get a little credit for some of the issues on which we agree with The Blower’s position? —Feckless Fishwrappers

A lot of Andersonians are wondering when folks from the Park Board will remove all their “Parks Yes” signs, especially since they pulled their Land Scam Tax Levy that everybody knew was going down in flames after last week’s Editorial in The Blower. —Anderson TEA Party Trustee Andy Pappas

Please don’t go to any extra effort explaining our “School Tax Scam.” Voters in our district really wouldn’t understand it. —Northwest Local Schools

The Fishwrap endorsed me during the Republican Primary, but that was before I publicly supported Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis during The Fishwrap’s Crusade for Same Sex Sodomy. Now the Feckless Fishwrppers are endorsing my opponent. Coincidence? I think not. —Bluegrass Republican Gubernatorial Candidate Matt Bevin

You can’t believe how many of my Facebook Friends have been trying to wangle an invitation to my Annual Halloween Party this year. —Miss Vicki

If PC Fanatics at local schools cancelled Halloween celebrations, would that be a news story? —Trish the Dish on Channel 19 News

After beating the Buffalo Bills and keeping their undefeated season alive, some members of the Cincinnati Bengals got more exposure than they bargained for. And by “more exposure” we mean their butts and dongs exposed on national television. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower ridicules The NFL Network to show that broadcasting pictures of Bengals players with their butts and dongs exposed on national television is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who posted that video on his Facebook account.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially All you really need to know is that the NFL GameDay Live staff couldn’t stop laughing about it afterward.

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