Saturday, March 21, 2015

More Sports Cliches

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says Obama once again demonstrated his preposterous political priorities by submitting his 2015 March Madness Brackets for the seventh straight year (Still No Budget). Obama picked Kentucky, Villanova, Arizona, and Duke to reach the Final Four. But The Blower wants to know how much U.S. Over-taxed payers had to borrow to from the Chinese just to pay for Obama’s Presidential Bracket Display.

This week has been also been one of the best ever for local basketball fans, what with six Tri-State teams making it to the 2015 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament— UC, Xavier, Ohio State, Dayton, Kentucky, and Louisville. Now let’s see how many of our local losers make it to the second round.

March Madness showcases the best of college sports. Unfortunately, last year’s installment of the Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament also highlighted the worst in wasteful government spending, according to the Taxpayers Protection Alliance. The $2.7 billion price tag associated with the arenas used during last year’s NCAA tournament may give March Madness a maddening new meaning for over-taxed payers, whose March Madness Brackets look something like this.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this day in 1980, President Jimmy Cart announced that the U.S. would boycott the Olympic Games scheduled to take place in Moscow that summer, after the Soviet Union failed to comply with Carter’s February 20, 1980, deadline to withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. In 2016 Obama plans to boycott the Olympic Games in Rio if every athlete on the United States Team is not a raging homosexual.

 ANOTHER ITEM IN THE CINCINNATI MESS (You Only Read About in The Blower)

It seems the same day the highly suspect sweetheart deal with deadbeat Liz Rogers was announced this past Tuesday, she was busy impersonating a police officer at a United Dairy Farmers store in West Chester.

A working tow truck driver saw Rogers’ vehicle stopped at the Hamilton Mason Road UDF.  Knowing there were orders from her loan company to repossess the vehicle due to lack of payment, the driver attempted to tow the vehicle.  Rogers came running up to him, allegedly saying she was a police officer and her vehicle was not eligible to be repossessed.  She was so unruly, the truck driver called the West Chester police, fearing for his own safety, telling them what was taking place.

Deadbeat Rogers has been so coddled by officials for so long, she feels she can’t be touched.  The West Chester police have not yet charged her.  Of course, Dizzy Lizzy is threatening to sue the tow truck driver.  Nothing is ever Liz’s fault.

There have long been rumors the notorious Rogers is related to former Cincinnati girly-boy mayor Mark Mallory.

Deadbeat Liz has made a years-long career out of weaseling out of her debts.  Has anybody noticed her unknown attorney Robert Croskery has been replaced in this matter by publicity-hogging attorney Clyde Bennett, the same guy who represented disgraced judge Tracie Hunter in her recent trial which ended in Hunter’s criminal conviction?  Does anyone believe deadbeat Liz will pay either lawyer? And why in the hell is she driving a Mercedes, if she can’t pay the city back?

COMPASSIONATE COSERVATIVE STU MAHLIN got this response when he sent a copy of yesterday’s Blower Blast to Clowncil-man Windbag’s Office after we reported Cincinnati city manager Harry Black and his good friend, the deadbeat Liz Rogers, of Mahogany’s restaurant of ill-repute, had entered into a cozy deal whereby Black is single-handedly forgiving her outstanding city loans for a mere $800 bucks a month for ten years. 

Mr. Mahlin,

On behalf of Councilman Charlie Winburn, I would like to thank you for your message and concern for the community. Councilman Winburn is glad  that Mahogany’s did not file bankruptcy which so many struggling businesses do these days, because city council would have been left holding the entire financial bag; and whatever money the taxpayers can get back out this deal is better than zero.

Former Mayor, Mark Mallory and Former City Manager, Milton Dohoney, should have never invited Mahogany’s to Cincinnati by making promises that  they could not fulfill, and leaving the taxpayers holding the bag just like the $150 million dollar wasteful government spending of the streetcar; Councilman Winburn hopes the City will try to get the taxpayers money back from this deal before it’s too late.

Please feel free to contact me at (513) 352-5371 if you have any questions.

Sincerely, Jeremiah Pennebaker, Assistant to Councilmember Winburn

 But did Jeremiah forget to mention The Windbag was one of the Soul Food Six on City Clown-cil who voted to give Larcenous Liz all that money, along with Clown-sale Members Wendell Young, rich heiress boy Alexander Paul George Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’, and Cecil Thomas?

TROUBLED TAX PAYER TINO DELGATO said Liz Rogers had escaped again upon hearing the City had forgiven “part” of Mahogany’s loan. Tino says City Clown-sale will forgive over half her $300K dept to the city. There is no mention of the $600K “grant” she was given. Go Figure!!! 

Another outraged over-taxed payer says the city better hope Mahogany’s Liz Rogers doesn’t get sick and keel over from her home fried chicken and grit’s. The city forgave $200,000 of its loan. Still owing $100,000, it will take the chunky soul food queen 10 1/2 years to pay that back at $800 a month!

And before Mahogany’s owner Liz Rogers was arrested and charged with impersonating a police officer Friday morning, our long time reader Edna said:  “The West Chester police should transfer the Liz Rogers impersonating an officer matter over to Butler County sheriff Richard K. Jones for investigation.  He’s the only one with a pair who has put old Liz in jail.  He isn’t afraid of her threats.”

ANGRY ANDERSONIAN BOB DRAKE says the Anderson Park Board has finally released its survey to convince the public to support a tax levy to purchase the Beech Acres Rec Complex, but it may also indirectly affect the Park Board’s plans to develop Johnson Hills Park. Two questions in this survey are important to those who oppose their plans to waste approximately $50 million on development of Johnson Hills. The only way to prevent the destruction of JHP is to complete this online survey, especially Questions #9 AND #10. Question #11 is also important if you want to support the purchase of the Beech Acres Rec Center, but oppose the Park Board’s plans for Johnson Hills.

READERS’ REACTIONS: The Ribald Reverend says he found yesterday’s Special “BB & BJ Day” Edition so entertaining, he planned to leave our homepage open on my wife’s laptop as a subtle hint. Meanwhile in northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Rifle Association Spokesman Billy Bob Carbine got this text from his brother recently. It read: “Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol’ Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. It turns out it just reached to the back of her sister’s throat!”

BLUEGRASS BRACKETS: Although Spring officially arrived in Greater Cincinnati Friday afternoon at 6:45 PM EDT, Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball says Spring doesn’t oreally arrive in the tri-state until UC basketball fans are once again home watching the Kentucky Wildcats play totally destroying the UC Bearcats today at 2:40 PM on TV. Turfway Touts say Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until the $550,000 Horseshoe Casino Cincinnati Spiral Stakes and the Pure Romance Bourbonette Oaks on March 21 at Turfway Park.  Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith say Spring doesn’t usually arrive in Northern Kentucky until we start tossing back Bock beer chasers. Mainstrasse Bartenders say Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until drunks sober up from St. Patrick’s Day. And the Vanilla Hills Civic Club says Spring doesn’t historically arrive in Northern Kentucky until the police chief gets fired.

“Happy Springtime,” says The CamBoozler, “but How do you know your Equinox is really Vernal?” wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Mark Twain’s “In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich say Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until we’ve each devoured 437 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. The Murg says Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until I try out my new Spring probe. Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders says Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters gets permanently disbarred. And Steve “I’m 5’0, Not 4’11” Mergele and Will “The Thrill” Terwort say Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until all Covington sex shops have their annual Spring sale.

Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams says Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until you have sex with your first Spring sheep. Your Friends at the IRS say Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until people at least start thinking about paying their taxes. MILFs on Probation say Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until you tickle a young man’s fancy. Uptight Bitches in Fort Mitchell Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until we fake our equinox orgasms. Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie “I Thought You Guys at the Blower Forgot About Me” Whalen says Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until people are lined up for Opening Day Tickets to see the Florence Freedom. And Horny in Hebron says Spring doesn’t officially arrive in Northern Kentucky until I celebrate  

NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (THE ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), a special “BB&BJ Day” offering from his latest book, “Love Poems for the Horny Hibernians”:

Ode to BB&BJ Day
Ah, Spring is now here
With gentle warming breezes
But my most favoritist thing
Is my girl friend on her kneeses.

FINALLY, we just got an e-mail from Vivacious Vicky Zwissler, our used-to-be Council-gal in Wyoming (the City not the State), reminding us that tomorrow is her birthday. Curiously, although our Virtual Redhead is still pretty much of a babe, her e-mail forgot to include her age.  

Maybe that’s why our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane always says, “Women improve with age. The older I get, the more I like them.”

Special Notice

        The Blower would like to apologize to Persons of Consequence on the Exclusive Whistleblower E-mail List who unfortunately happen to be Fuse.Net customers, including Andy Pappas. The reason you haven’t received your daily media advisories from The Blower for the past four days is because Fuse.net and Zoomtown continue to mislabeled all communications from The Blower as “spam,” and those geniuses running Cincinnati Bell don’t seem to have a telephone number to call and report it.  How screwed up is that?

 THERE WAS NO BEST “LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD TODAY,

Because the committee was baffled after they saw a Disgruntled DemocRAT Congressman actually tell the truth, when Wisconsin lawmaker Mark Pocan accused Obama’s U.S. Trade Representative (USTR) of “baffling” Democrats “with bullshit” in an effort to advance President Obama’s trade agenda.

Maybe we need a new category!

  MORE MARCH MADNESS HOT LINE

e-mail your perfect picks today.

Some total time-wasting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally total time-wasting subscribers, but we could always use more.

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

 Whistleblower Video of the Day

THE CRIMINAL ARROGANCE OF HILLARY CLINTON

(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Suezilla Hardenberg [341 Friends, 59 Mutual Friends], our Anderson TEA Party Patriot who likes to wave signs on Beechmont Avenue)

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