Daily Archives: December 12, 2014

Just Another “Guest Column” E-dition

Friday, December 12, 2014 

Gruber Gets Gowdy’d

          image005Everybody was waiting for MIT professor and ObamaCare architect Jonathan Gruber to testify Tuesday on Capitol Hill about his role in selling the 2010 healthcare law to “stupid American voters” through deception and non-transparency. The hearing was held by the House Oversight Committee and Gruber had to field questions from Chairman Darrell Issa and angry lawmakers about the legislation.

Three of the nation’s major newspapers downgraded Gruber’s testimony, keeping it off the front page. The Washington Post placed Gruber, best known for assailing “stupid” Americans, on A-4. The New York Times on Wednesday demoted the story to page A-20. We’re not sure where you would’ve ever found coverage or condemnation of Gruber’s Lies in The Fishwrap.

But Gruber was only a stand-in on Tuesday for the real culprit: Prevaricator-in-Chief Obama. Lying about the health law originated at the top. In 2008, candidate Barack Obama promised that he, unlike his rivals, would not “force” Americans to buy health insurance. But that’s what ObamaCare does. Gruber will soon be in the historic dustbin of rogues. But the Obama administration and Obama’s willing accomplices in the Liberal Press are still lying to defend the most unpopular law since prohibition.

  • TODAY’S “LIBERALS TELL THE STUPIDEST LIES” AWARD WINNER IS, not surprisingly, Jonathan Gruber, who delivered an orchestrated apology throughout his testimony on Tuesday and described his comments as “glib, thoughtless, and downright insulting.” He repeated his apology many times during the hearing whenever he was asked to explain his comments about ObamaCare. “It is never appropriate to try to make oneself seem more important or smart by demeaning others. I know better. I knew better. I am embarrassed and I am sorry,” Gruber lied.

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

        Why, it’s none other than South Carolina Republican Congressman Trey Gowdy, who grilled Gruber in another devastating example of what a good cross-examination sounds like. Multiple news reports reveal that in the company of smirking colleagues 100% aware that he was about to inflict viral pain, Gowdy laid waste to Gruber’s history of “stupid” comment. The Blower especially liked when Gowdy had finally had enough, and asked, “You’re a professor at MIT and you’re worried about not looking smart enough?” After a long pause, Gruber finally said, “Yes,” and our Quote for Today Committee chose Gowdy’s “Well, you certainly succeeded if that was your goal!”

That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in rewarding anybody blasting all those Obama lies we’ll still be hearing for the next 769 days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached, to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.


  • “FAMOUS PRESIDENTIAL LIES” by Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady       

image011LBJ:
“We were attacked (in the Gulf of Tonkin)”

Nixon:
“I am not a crook”

GHW Bush:
“Read my lips – No new taxes”

Clinton:
“I did not have sex with that woman… Miss Lewinsky”

GW Bush:
“Iraq has weapons of mass destruction”

image013Obama:
“I will have the most transparent administration in history.”
“The stimulus will fund shovel-ready jobs.”
“I am focused like a laser on creating jobs.”
“The IRS is not targeting anyone.”
“It was a spontaneous riot about a movie.”
“If I had a son…”
“I will put an end to the type of politics that breeds division, conflict and cynicism.”
“You didn’t build that!”
“I will restore trust in Government.”
“The Cambridge cops acted stupidly.”
“The public will have five days to look at every bill that lands on my desk.”
“It’s not my red line – it is the world’s red line.”
“Whistleblowers will be protected in my administration.”
“We got back every dime we used to rescue the banks and auto companies, with interest.”
“I am not spying on American citizens.”
“ObamaCare will be good for America.”
“You can keep your family doctor.”
“Premiums will be lowered by $2,500.”
“If you like it, you can keep your current healthcare plan.”
“It’s just like shopping at Amazon.”
“I knew nothing about ‘Fast and Furious’ gunrunning to Mexican drug cartels.”
“I knew nothing about IRS targeting conservative groups.”
“I knew nothing about what happened in Benghazi.”
“I have never seen or met my uncle from Kenya who is in the country illegally and was arrested and told to leave the country over 20 years ago.”
“And, I have never lived with that uncle. (He finally admitted today, (12-05-2013) that he DID know his uncle and that he DID live with him.”

But the biggest lie of all: “I, Barrack Hussein Obama, pledge to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America.”


  • TOUGH SHIT, AMIGO!” by Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose

image014A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.

“Good man,” the fairy said, “I’ve been sent here by President Obama And told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in The United States with your wife and eight children.”

The man told the fairy, “Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.”

The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and –PING !– he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

“What else?” asked the fairy, “Two more to go.”

The refugee claimant now got bolder. “I need a big house with a three-car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here” — and — PING !–In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three-car garage, a long driveway, and a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.

“One more wish,” said the fairy, waving her wand.

“Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans” —and — PING ! – The man was transformed – wearing worn-out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

“What happened to my new teeth?” He wailed. “Where is my new house?”

And the fairy said: “Tough shit, Amigo, now that you are a white American, you have to fend for yourself.” 


  • “NANCY REAGAN REGARDING JOHN HINKLEY’S RELEASE” by Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen

image016We could all learn so much from this elegant and gracious lady.

You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s.

Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and, in his twisted mind, loved Jodie to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

When there was speculation Hinckley might soon be released as having been rehabilitated, Nancy Reagan sent this letter to John Hinkley.

From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan
To: John Hinckley

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting Ronnie.

We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We’re confident  that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join  the world again as a healthy and productive man.

Best wishes,

Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado…You might want to look into that.


AND A QUICKIE
By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach

image017Last year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. This year, I didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” And that’s how the fight started…..

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.


Stories We’re Working On

  • image018Boehner’s Spending Deals Have Increased Debt $3.8 TRILLION In 3.8 Years
  • Obama’s Amnesty Gives Illegals Fast-Track To Voting Booth
  • No Money to Finish Cincinnati’s Streetcar; No Money to Run It Anyway!
  • Traci Hunter sings: “I’ll Still Be Home for Christmas!”
  • Chintzy Holiday Parties Charging You to Eat and Drink
  • Gold Discovered Buried in Basement of Chez Nora Restaurant in Covington
  • No Tax Breaks For Noah’s Ark Project in Kentucky

Whistleblower Web Poll

image021This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said you would know Jesus was Jewish:
(A) He was 30, unmarried, and still living at home: 2%
(B) He went into his father’s business: 2%
(C) He thought his mother was a virgin: 2%
(D) His mother thought he was God: 94%

image033Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!


More Conservative Political Posters

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Gays in a Sleigh

This week, everybody who thought there might be some really unfortunate unforeseen consequences after Obama signed legislation to repeal that homophobic “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” legislation, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

image026The winner is Phil Burr-ass, whose Gay Porn Collection is the envy of perverts everywhere.

Phil wins an “Elves Make Better Lovers” bumper sticker, a DVD of Phil’s favorite gay cowboy movie “Brokeback Mountain,” and a chance to check out the updated client list at David A. Pepper’s Fake Floozies Dating Club, to see which elected officials might be using their services these days when they need to be seen in public with a woman. His winning limerick is:

What if Santa turned out to be gay?
Or if he goes either way?
Is that a chimney he’s down?
Then how come it’s brown?
Our old gods do have feet of clay.

Dishonorable Mentions
What if Santa turned out to be gay?
Would he try to tell us he was born that way?
“When I slide down the chimney,
I whip out my Grand Prix,
And it’s just like a roll in the hay!”

What if Santa turned out to be gay
To other men he would look for a lay
He would never go straight
For only men he would date
No matter what others would say.

What if Santa turned out to be gay
He would probably live on San Franciso Bay
He would prance in his thongs
And dream of men’s dongs
And gay rights would be more than okay!

From Friends of Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
What if Santa turned out to be gay?”
And he wanted his lover to play;
He would take his sack,
Off of his back,
So it wouldn’t be in the way.

What if Santa turned out to be gay?
Could he keep all his boyfriends at bay?
‘Cuz if Mrs. Claus did discover,
Dudes were after her lover,
She’d shove all those new toys up his ‘A.’

What if Santa turned out to be gay;
With a rainbow taped onto his sleigh?
Since he likes young ages
The “elves” would be “pages”
With Dateline NBC not too far away!

From Gay Elected Officials
What if Santa turned out to be gay,
And all of his elves, the same way?
They’d be packing fudge, and not presents
And making love to the peasants
(Us homophobes better watch what we say!!)

What if Santa turned out to be gay,
And invited guys into his sleigh?
Jolly Old Saint Nick,
Would be sticking his wick,
In places we’d rather not say.

What if Santa turned out to be gay?
He’d be out of the priesthood, so they say.
Since he’s all dressed in fur,
With a strong scent of myrrh,
Perhaps we should all check his dossier.

What if Santa turned out to be gay,
With his boyfiend in back of the sleigh?
Would you still want his toys
If you knew he liked boys,
Or would you tell him to go flit away?

From Devou Park
What if Santa turned out to be gay?
And Mrs. Claus was his best friend, Ray?
The white-haired old coot
Would have a sore poop chute
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, hey?

What if Santa turned out to be gay,
And gave a little boy a ride in his sleigh
And you caught him on the roof
With his pants down to his hoof,
Would the police come and take him away?

But things are different today
We know there’s nothing wrong with being gay
Men can be attracted to boys
And still walk around with poise
Barney Frank always lisped it was OK.

And from the Anderson Laureate we have this same-sex scenario:
What if Santa turned out to be gay?
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that way).
Look at Sesame Street’s Elmo
His ventriloquist’s a homo
And for years, that was perfectly OK.

There’s Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis,
And all the wonderful things they give us.
Why, they have gay day parades
(But a lot of them have AIDS),
I think they are all thimply marvelous.

But they better stay away from little boys
They’re our kids, not some pedophile’s toys
If we catch them abusing
Some force we’ll be using
And then they will run out of poise.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“The most fun this holiday season”


HOLIDAY DECORATIONS HOT LINE

e-mail your digital delights today.

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Some Christmas-spirit-filled items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Christmas-spirit-filled items subscribers.


Whistleblower Link of the Day

Race-baiter #1 Al Sharpton

Published on Dec 10, 2014 In which our politically correct host, Andrew Klavan, takes a look at the disturbing history of the Reverend Al Sharpton – called reverend because he is revered, by Al Sharpton.

   image022Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today. 


Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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