Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Americans once hopeful that after electing the first African-American president the issue of race would be a thing of the past, are left with Barack Obama, who stokes the flames of racial hatred, resentment, and divisiveness. —Judge Jeanine
On her PMSNBC show, commenting on the news that authorities are considering charges against Michael Brown’s stepfather Louis Head, who on the night the grand jury declined to indict, jumped on a car and implored the crowd “burn this motherfucker down! Burn this bitch down!,” Melissa Harris-Perry argued that “arson and looting . . . are not necessarily violence.” —Your “Liberals Tell the Stupidest Lies” Award
That’s why we chose Charles Barkley’s “Poor people have been voting DemocRAT for 50 years, and they’re still poor.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
So is it really a big surprise a majority of Americans say interactions between the white and black communities have deteriorated since Obama took office? —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Can you imagine Conservatives telling me NOT TO INVITE Obama to deliver the State of Dis-Union Address in protest over his executive actions on immigration? —RINO Speaker of the House John Boehner
On this date in 1992, U.S. Marines stormed into Mogadishu, Somalia, to spearhead a multinational force aimed at restoring order in the conflict-ridden country, but if Obama had been president during that disastrous endeavor, he would’ve said it was time to open a dialogue with the Somali warlords without preconditions. —Hurley the Historian
Did you see where I included Racist Black DemocRAT Stevecia Reece on that Police Issues Task Farce Ohio Attorney Republican General Mike DeWhine and I put together, which will never be concerned with all those Black-on-Black murders? —Ohio GOP Governor Kasich-Taylor
Do you think we need to publish another Local Racial Divide idiotorial, one demanding leniency for those 15 poor misunderstood #Ferguson Protesters in Cincinnati? —Feckless Fishwrappers
At least kindly old Judge Nadel didn’t order Convicted-and-Sentenced Black DemocRAT Ex-Juvie Judge Traci Hunter to begin serving her sentence until after Christmas. —Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters
What better way for Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Jewish Obama voters like Bubbie and Zadie Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, to demonstrate their unwavering devotion to Obama before their taxes go up big time in January than to get them to purchase one more Obama Hanukkah item for next year, like this Jews for Obama ornament for their Hanukkah Bushes for only $9.95. —The Obama 2016 Third Term Re-election Campaign
If you’re still having trouble finding those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County, call us at 513-474-7777 for directions. — Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Office
Are you sure Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and all of the Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda didn’t get an invitation to My Annual Christmas Party at the Schmidt Run Estates at 771 Wards Corner Road, where I plan to announce my return to politics? —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
We’re all planning to be there, so that party will really rock. —CFK’s Conservative Crew
And we’ll all be there to sing “Mean Jean’s Twelve Days of Christmas.” —Republicans for Higher Taxes
Don’t forget our Chintzy Christmas Party this year, where any political wannabee can get in for free, but you’ll still have to pay for your own food and drinks. —COAST’s Litigious Lawyer Chris Finney
We plan to make Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane feel really welcome at the Anderson High School’s Class of ‘56 Survivors Dinner at Red Lobster. —Kane’s Classmate’s Who’ve Never Read The Blower
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
Please tell the yoofs and protesters there be only 17 mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa! —Kwanzaa Klaus
Hey, everybody: a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived. —K-Mart
With so few Blacks and Jews in Northern Kentucky, it will be hard trying to decide which minor holiday to ignore in December. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Will we be once again combining our Christmas Parties at Forum in Covington on December 19 with our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders this year? —The Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club)
During the holiday season, our Covington Bimbo Chorale will be singing, “Oh. Come, All Ye Unfaithful.” —Phyllis on Madison
This year we have a special authentic Christmas display with the Three Wise Men flying in on a pterodactyl. —Answers in Genesis
Forget about the gift exchange at the company Christmas Party. No gift exchange is allowed since union members feel $10 is too much money for any gift, and executives believe $10 won’t even buy a crappy little gift. So… NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. —Patty Lewis, Human Resource Director
On the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a sign of Baby Jesus, should ever be found. —The Northern Kentucky ACLU
That’s funny, there are 14 babies named Jesus in our neighborhood. —Future DemocRAT Voting Illegal Immigrants in NoKY hoping for Amnesty This Christmas
This year for Christmas, we’re not even giving all our Boondoggle County employees an extra lump of coal. —Judge Defective Once Moore
When is Governor Steve sending out his “Holiday” cards? —The American Family Association
During the holiday season, it’s important to spend time with your family. The least they could’ve done is put us all us Erpenbecks in the same jail. —Bill and Tony Erpenbeck
My favorite Christmas tradition involves reindeer meat. —Billy Bob Carbine
Don’t forget. You don’t have to be Druish to celebrate the Winter Solstice on December 21. —Dave the Druid
And when they are celebrating World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2013, can we still have our Fake Orgasms? —Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell
Men never fake orgasms, because no man wants to make a face like that without the reward. —Husbands of Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell
Do you think Orgasm Day would be a good day to give a party? —Miss Vicki
Not every Winter Solstice celebration involves a barnyard animal. —Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams
Which holiday do they observe for the Summer Solstice? —Trish the Dish
Sheree Paolello always liked it when we used to say “orgasms” on the air. —Jack Atherton (Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you’re having trouble finding me)

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially #Ferguson Protesters in Cincinnati.

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of made-up holidays to show that PC Fanatics will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a multi-cultural metro-sexual.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Dave the Druid.

WORLD ORGASMS FOR PEACE HOT LINE

e-mail your engraved invitations today

Some multiple orgasm producing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally multiple orgasm producing subscribers, but we could always use more.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

The Most Horrible Christmas Commercial You Will EVER see!

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Daily Archives: December 9, 2014

Special “Obama’s Acid Reflux” E-dition