Just because today’s supposed to be a holiday doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of snitching and bitching going on. You bet! As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the tri-state, our readers have every right to expect nothing less.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

What a Difference a Year Makes

Think of how much things have changed since last year since on December 12. It was our Special “Cliff Jumping E-dition and The Blower was asking “If all your Congressmen jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too?” Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus was reporting Obama was predicting GOP House Speaker John Boehner would be the one to cave on the Taxmageddon/ Fiscal Cliff Crisis. Wouldn’t that cost Boehner his Speaker’s job? Ironically, 16-Dysfunctional DemocRAT Senators who voted for ObamaCare were also disparaging their own “Job-Killing” ObamaCare Tax. And Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen then said 73% think Obama’s Health Care Law was likely to cost more than projected. That means all those for Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama voters would be just as screwed as the rest of us.

Of course “the majority” supported Obama’s “Fiscal Cliff” because they want the people, who work and support them, to keep on paying their bills. But, shouldn’t everyone (even Eric Kearney) pay some taxes so they feel what it’s like to support the out-of-control spending for tree frog studies, Appalachian “still” management, and work study programs in Outer Mongolia.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN said on this date in 2000 the Supreme Court decided 5-4 that Florida Supreme Court’s scheme for recounting ballots was unconstitutional, making George W. Bush president of these United States. And wouldn’t it be funny if this week, Obama’s Supremes overturned that decision?
NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose William Howard Taft’s “Presidents come and go, but the Supreme Court goes on forever.”
COLLEGE DAZE: Under the U.S. Constitution and Amendments, the Electoral College was scheduled to rubber-stamp Obama as our next president on December 17, 2012. In the Constitutional Convention “most delegates doubted the capacity of the people to evaluate talented and capable leaders beyond the borders of their own states.” Were the Founding Fathers geniuses or what!
CONGRESSIONAL CONFUSION: While being interviewed by Former Fishwrapper Howard Wilkinson on WVXU, Ohio’s then-Second District Congressman-Elect Congressman-Elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup said he didn’t sign the over-taxed payers’ pledge because it was “too complicated.”

HERE’S THE PLEDGE: I promise to: ONE, oppose any and all efforts to increase the marginal income tax rates for individuals and/or businesses; and TWO, oppose any net reduction or elimination of deductions and credits, unless matched dollar for dollar by further reducing tax rates.

Whistleblower readers wanted to know, “What was so freaking complicated” Memo to our Congressional Podiatrist– clipping an octogenarian’s toe nails might be complicated, but this pledge is “not complicated.”

In a related story, The Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located in East Jesus, was still blaming Ohio Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Transition Team for failing to give people directions for those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights located in West Union.

JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: K-Mart announces a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived.
CH SNITCH 1000 MAIN STREET: A year ago today, following the previous week’s vote by Republican Hamilton County Commissioners “Tax Hike” Hartmann and Chris Monzel for over-taxed payers of Hamilton County to give more of their hard-earned money to the “Millionaire Mike” Brown and his mismanagement team, those same over-taxed payers would finally see a forced contribution from the various members of the Bungals mis-management team when the sales tax credit on their personal homes’ real estate taxes was reduced. Whistleblower Research Bureau Chief Fearless Ferret was already checking out how much it would cost each of the players.
DOWN AT CITY HALL: Vice Mayor Foxy Roxy Qualls had just found herself 15,000 voters when she runs for Cincinnati Mayor next year by opposing City Mangler Dough Boy Honey’s plan to end income tax reciprocity for 15,000 city residents who work outside the City. Cincinnati residents pay any income tax charged by the city where they work, and Cincinnati gives them that much credit toward the 2.1% charged by the City of Cincinnati. Now fired City Mangler Milton Dohoney wanted to eliminate that reciprocity credit to generate almost $4.8 million toward the $34 million deficit. This year, One Percent for Liberty has just nominated Foxy Roxy Qualls and Dainty DemocRAT Former Mayor Mark Mallory as the biggest wasters of over-taxed payers’ money in the history of Cincinnati, including $135 million on the Trolley Folly; $55 million on the Parking Meter Lease; $400 million on the Irresponsible bidder Ordinance; and a $400 thousand Mayoral Primary every four years.
IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Hate-Speakers at the DemocRAT Underground have a new poll asking their readers to vote for the biggest moron in the Republican Party. At press time, “Mean Jean” Schmidt was on the list, even though GOP voters booted her wrinkly, lame-duck ass out of office in that primary last March, but had no votes. Maybe Ted Stevenot and some of his TEA Party Patriots would like to help her out while there’s still a little time left.

But for those who were planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane attending “Mean Jean’s” over-taxed payer funded Christmas Party last year on December 21 at the Horseshoe Casino, we were all singing the sixth verse of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by Clermont County Crony-in-Chief Tim Rudd the Dudd, who saaid, “It never matters who wants our endorsement, since all the votes have already been counted.” It went something like this:

On the Sixth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me, Six Crooked Cronies, Five Libelous Liars, Four Screeching Tires, Three Borgman Cartoons, Two Red Dresses, And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

Kind of warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it Portman?

Now here’s an update on that Company Christmas Party you’ve been reading about in The Blower:

FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director DATE: December 12 RE: Patty Lewis and the Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the December 23 off with full pay. Happy Holidays!

Finally, IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?

Meanwhile, there was still a way for Obsessive Obama Supporters like Tom and Rose to show their love for our Obamessiah during the Christmas Season.

That’s why this limited edition “Obama Village Idiot” ornament for only $28.99 plus God only knows how much for shipping and handling, would look so great on your Obamamas Tree, as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to promise their millions of gullible followers today, it will still be just like “1,135 More Days of Christmas” during Obama’s second term. Proceeds will benefit Obama’s 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.

WHISTLEBLOWER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: This seems to be a pretty good gift for your favorite elected official.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES were discussing the latest Tracy Winkler scandal in their latest blog entry last year at this time. Tracy and hubby, His Honor Judge Ralph “Ted” Winkler, had recently vacationed with Vince and Deb Wallace. Upon return, Tracy hired Vince Wallace to a make-work position in the Clerk of Courts office paying $68k/year, while His Honor Ralph “Ted” hired Deb as his Court reporter. Deb had just retired from that position, so Ralph Ted’s decision to rehire her made him fully responsible for another county double-dipper.

According to Republicans for Higher Taxes, it always paid to be a Friend of Alex and Tracy (FAT). As Vince and Deb Wallace know, membership in the FAT Club has its benefits!

KWANZA KLAUS said there seems to be a lot of crime near the UC Campus these days. They never seemed to have that problem when Bob Huggins was coach. All the thugs were on his teams and off the streets.
NoKY NEWS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said last year when he called the Adams County (Ohio) Travel and Visitors Bureau in Ohio, to get directions to those Amazing Amish Christmas Lights near Squirrel Town, it reminded him to tell readers that Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson now has his pet squirrel “Nutsy” tastefully decorated for Christmas.

Rick, who invited our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders to Graydon Head’s Holiday Party earlier his month before mysteriously disappearing from that prestigious law firm, says he can hardly wait for The Robster’s annual Christmas Party at Forum in Covington on December 19, especially since The Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) events are being combined.

One thing they’ll all be talking about to be sure is how “Crazy Eric” always manages to surface at press events so soon after tragedies occur, particularly if somebody actually sent The Blower some definitive proof about how he unethically solicits clients.

MORE HOLIDAY MAGIC: Another Holiday Party Rick never misses is the Annual World Orgasm for Peace Day Orgy at the Fort Mitchell County Club, co-sponsored by Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell and the Northern Kentucky Cougars’ Association. That godless pagan event is on December 21, just in time for Druids to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Last year Marvin the Mayan said he’d like to come too, because if the world did actually come to an end on December 21, he’d like to go out with a gang bang. Then everybody watch “Getting into the Holiday Spirit with Eric and Nicole.”
FINALLY, AT LAST YEAR’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA ON TODAY’S DATE: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way we keep finding out how much more ObamaCare was going to cost than anybody had ever imagined. “It really wouldn’t have mattered if people had known about it before the Election,” Kane explained last year. “The Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term in the Divided States of America had just begun and unfortunately, the voters aren’t through being stupid yet. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.” Was CFK a prophet or what!

The Seediest Kids of All

The Butch LeDeux Story

Butch LaDeux was a very troubled 11-year-old second-grader who was not doing well in school, even by the Forrest Gump School District’s standards. The truth is, Butch is illiterate, and he always tries to cover up his feelings of inferiority by punching little kids in the stomach and stealing their lunch money.

So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) enrolled Butch at O’Brien’s Gym so he could channel his aggressive energy and Bungals Bar-Fighter Rey Maualuga taught Butch how to blindside his opponents.

Butch still beats up little kids for their lunch money, but instead of punching them in the stomach, he takes clean shots to the head and face as he goes after them because their parents had dared to put “Vote No” signs against the school levy in their front yards.

The LaDeux family is no longer on welfare, due to the substantial amount of money Butch now brings home every week. They’re grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Scrooge and Marley’s Counting House.

OFFICE PARTY HOT LINE

e-mail your extortion photos today

Some party-crashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally party-crashing subscribers.

(Last Year’s) Whistleblower Link of the Day

Land of The Freebies, Home of the Enslaved

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.