Daily Archives: November 5, 2013

Official “Election Day Debacle” E-dition

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

  • image005With his latest poll numbers in the crapper, I bet Obama’s glad Election Day tomorrow is not a do-over of the 2012 elections. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
  • Almost as glad as we are that tomorrow isn’t early voting for the Mid-term elections in 2014.—Harry Reid and his Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate
  • Thankfully we’ll still have 1,172 days left to cover during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (unless he’s impeached). —Obama Supporters in the Press
  • image008How pathetic was it when we said “Obama only misspoke” when he lied about keeping your health insurance? —New York Times
  • I wouldn’t mind if my reelection was tomorrow. —Ohio GOP Governor Kasich-Walker
  • Does anybody remember that my code name when I was on Romney’s short-list for Vice President? —Rob “Fighting for Filet of Fish” Portman
  • Only eight years after being defeated by John F. Kennedy in the 1960 election, Richard Nixon defeated Hubert H. Humphrey and was elected president on this date in 1968. Hurley the Historian
  • Maybe that’s why we chose Nixon’s “I did not have sex with Marilyn Monroe.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • Anybody who’s looking for our endorsement as a write-in candidate for Cincinnati Mayor, please Tweet me while there’s still time to put together a winning campaign. Also, We’re still looking for a few good “Poll Flushers” on Election Day. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • Did you see where Foxy Roxy’s attacking me because I’m supported by COAST? —Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley
  • image010At least she didn’t say he was in bed with COAST’s Litigious Lawyer Chris Finney. —NAALCP President SMLP Smithermouth
  • At least all those racists in Cincinnati are assured of having a white mayor after Tuesday’s Elections. —Belligerient Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston
  • I am honored to be named the 2013 Tax Hiker of the Year!” Foxy Roxy Qualls
  • Is America a great country or what? Please don’t ask how much money was spent I the dirtiest local campaign in history. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
  • When you ask which is worse about this year’s elections (voters’ ignorance or apathy), we say we don’t know and we don’t care. —People Who Just Might Forget to Go to the Polls
  • That’s why we’re not exactly expecting a record turnout on Tuesday. —Hamilton County Board of Elections
  • image013Now that our Free Food Stamps have been cut a few dollars, we’re waiting for the Riots to Start. Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters
  • The only poll that really counts is the one on Election Day when real people vote. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
  • All those e-mails we sent out on Monday telling people when the polls were open on Tuesday were only a public service. They had nothing to do with the fact that there’s a Library Levy on the ballot. —The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County
  • Please don’t ask where the money really came from for our Issue Four Campaign. —The Cincinnati for Pension Reform Committee
  • Just as The Blower predicted, we endorsed rewarding Cincinnati’s City Clown-cil with four year terms for supporting our Girly Man Mayor’s Trolley Folly Boondoggle, voting to piss away all that money on the streetcar to nowhere. —Skaggie Maggie’s Idiotorial Board
  • image015Did anybody remember last year when I said I’d retire if Obama’s elected? —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
  • If you don’t vote, you’re leaving the decision to somebody even dumber than you are. Jesse “The Body” Ventura
  • Remember what we always say: “A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. Loony Libertarians
  • We hope you’ll take the time to read our Green Township Trustee endorsements.”  Republicans for Higher Taxes
  • When God told me that Firooz Namei and James “The Rock” Bogen were conspiring against her with “Jaywalking Joe” Deters, TV 5 felt sorry for me when I told them my faith helps me keep my focus because of all those twenty lawsuits against me including the ones by the Prosecutor’s Office. —Ditzy DemocRAT Juvenile Court Judge Traci Hunter
  • Can you tell us how many local TEA Party Candidates are actually running for office in your area? —TEA Party Central
  • image017After seeing all those signs, we were surprised to learn that Gerth Pappas is really two people. —Astonished Andersonians
  • Even after today’s elections, our members will still be boycotting all those Whistleblower advertisers. —Bonnie Dunkleman, President of the Anderson-Newtown DemocRAT Club and Neighborhood 2012 Team Leader of Obama for America
  • There must be a zillion people running for office in all of our local villages, cities, townships, and school boards.  The landscape is littered with their yard signs. But how is anybody supposed to know which candidate to vote for until the Morning Fishwrap publishes its complete list of political endorsements for every one of those races? —Mama Maruska
  • We just figured out, if you have your victory party on FaceBook, you don’t have to buy any beer. —Cheapskate Candidates
  • When will The Blower be letting us know more places to go for Free Chow on Veterans Day? —Freeloaders Pretending to Be Veterans
  • image017Are you sure we shouldn’t call today “Electile Dysfunction Day?” —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • What Happened to all the Clocks? —Trish the Dish on Channel 19 News
  • Speaking of Clocks, have you seen our New World Clock? Poodwaddle
  • I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to explain how to buy food stamps beneficiaries are selling on social media sites.  —Ben Swann

More Conservative Political Cartoons

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(This E-dition of The Whistleblower may be may be unsuitable for dumbed-down Liberals. Reader discretion is advised.)   

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         Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Newspaper Idiotorials to show that interchanging endorsements and news coverage is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a totally discredited publication.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Feckless Fishwrappers.


VOTER FRAUD HOTLINE

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Some ballot box stuffing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally ballot box stuffing subscribers.


WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

Judge Jeanine Pirro – Opening Statement – ObamaCare Hype

image025Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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