One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

TEA Party “WARNS” Obama about September 11

Kent, OH – The Portage County TEA Party today released a statement “warning” President Obama that Wednesday is September 11, 2013. In making the statement, Executive Director Tom Zawistowski said, “Though it may seem obvious, we wanted to warn President Obama and his senior advisors, that this Wednesday is September 11 and the Anniversary of the terrorist attacks on America in 2001. We send this warning because it was apparent that last year, Obama and his top advisors were so distracted by their political efforts to use the IRS, the FEC, the EPA, the FBI and other government agencies to stop TEA Party and other conservative groups from participating in the 2012 election, that they apparently forgot the 2012 Anniversary, and did not adequately prepare for the attacks on our embassies around the world. Instead of intercepting warnings of the planned attacks on our embassies on the September 11, 2012 Anniversary, the NSA, CIA, FBI and others were apparently tied up reading TEA Party e-mails, listening to our phone calls, and tracing our web searches in a successful effort to prevent a fair US presidential election. Unfortunately, they were not as successful in preventing multiple attacks across the world on our embassies which resulted in the still unexplained tragic deaths of our Ambassador to Libya and three other brave Americans.”

Zawistowski concluded by saying, “Our “warning” is also intended to help the President and his staff keep focused on the real threats to the United States, by real terrorists, and keep them from getting distracted by the perceived political threat of the TEA Party Movement. Therefore, we also want to make sure that the President and his staff are fully aware, in advance, that there will be a rally at the US Capital on Tuesday, September 10, 2013. The TEA Party participants at that event will not be attacking the United States or burning the capital, just simply practicing their Constitutionally guaranteed right to free political speech and freedom of assembly. It is our sincere hope, that this warning will come in time, to prevent the President and his staff from being distracted again by the political issues currently surrounding the President, so that they can actually have our forces at home and around the globe on alert this Wednesday, September 11, 2013, to prevent a repeat of last year’s horrific and embarrassing performance.”

The TEA Party is not a political party but a grassroots cultural movement. The movement is educating American citizens about the Constitution and the uniquely American form of self-governance that has made our country so successful. Through this education, the movement is attempting to re-define what it means to be an American citizen, by encouraging individual to vote, to run for office and to attend government meeting in their area so that they can participate in their self governance. The acronym TEA stands for Totally Engaged Americans.

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen reports a new Fox News Poll says 48% consider Obama a “Weak-and-Indecisive Leader,” while only 6% view him as “Strong-and-Decisive.”
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “Obama is going to address the nation on Syria tomorrow night, which means here on NBC ‘America’s Got Talent’ will be delayed by ‘America’s Got Problems,’ ” and “Obama is talking tough. He said he will not rest until Syrian President Assad’s power has been reduced to the point where he’s on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’”
ALLEN WEST says, “If and when you fight a war, you fight to win period! You don’t put our military at risk to just to cover your ass, Mr. President.”
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: For once The Blower agrees with Good DemocRAT Robert Kennedy Jr. who wrote in his diary that Racial Racketeers Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton “Have done more harm to the black cause since George Wallace!”
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SAY “WTF?” Did former president George W Bush’s brother Jeb really honor Disgraced Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton with this year’s Liberty Medal from the National Constitution Center on the eve of the first anniversary of the terrorist attack on Hillary’s United States mission in Benghazi that killed four Americans?
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Hillary Clinton’s disgraceful testimony: “What difference, at this point, does it make?”
ANOTHER MUSLIM WARNING: This morning, the Muslim Brotherhood warned that if the United States continues meddling in Egypt, Libya, and other Middle East hot spots they intend to cut off America’s supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers. If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T, and AOL customer service reps. Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to not supply us any more presidents. It’s getting ugly, people.

News Closer to Home

MAYORAL MADNESS: Also being celebrated on this year’s 9/11 is last night’s monumental victory in Cincinnati’s Mayoral Primary Election, where despite the lowest turnout in history, Loony Libertarian Jim Berns and foul-mouth Queen Noble got flushed down the Electoral Toilet, since now they will no longer be participating in the equally meaningless Real Mayoral Election on November 5. Seen celebrating their victories were the people’s choices: Extremely Liberal DemocRAT Foxy Roxy Qualls (who hopes Cincinnati’s Over-Taxed Payers got their $400,000 worth) and Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley (who says “You really have to feel good when you can beat up on a couple of cripples like Foxy Roxy and I did.”)
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES had endorsed Sandra Queen Noble for Cincinnati Mayor. If you want to know why, they said “Ask yo’ momma bitch!” Somehow we don’t think this post was meant to be taken seriously.

Alex T Mall Cop GOP says… Funny thing is, some people think she’s our candidate for mayor!

CITY HALL SUCK-UPS: Cincinnati Clown-cilman P.G. Sittenfeld became The Fishwrap’s designated whiner over the public’s being left out of the search for the next police chief, after the list of 30 candidates was cut down to Interim Chief Paul Humphries, along with Jeffrey Blackwell, Michael Dvorak, and Jerry Speziale.

P.G. now wants the finalists to take part in a televised town hall meeting (that he would be only too happy to moderate during his re-election campaign) so residents could ask questions and hear from the candidates themselves.

In a real suck-up letter to Milton Dough Boy Honey, PG lauded the Cincinnati City Mangler for the “diversity of his screening process,” but where PG really lost our vote was when he complemented Dough Boy for hiring Cincinnati’s Disgraced Former Fourteen-Star Police Chief James Craig in the first place.

But if Dough Boy had done his damn job right to begin with, we would’ve have had to suffer with that incompetent affirmative action hire and we also wouldn’t be having to go through another police chief search so soon.

SECRET DOCUMENT UPDATE: Cincinnati City Solicitor’s Office says the reason we don’t want anybody to see that Secret Document in our Duke Streetcar Lawsuit file over at Strauss Troy’s office is because it could be a game changer in this fall’s elections by showing just how incompetent we are, which is why everybody around here has been working overtime to try to keep it a secret.
IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports Matt Borges says “DemocRAT Carney Hypocritically Silent on Possible Corruption in Caucus.” Does our Ohio GOP Party Boss know how to write a catchy headline or what!
SPOILED SPORTS: Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather was really screaming at the TV Monday night while being forced to watch what happens when Bronson Arroyo serves up home run balls and Dusty’s Little Red Machine leaves their bats at home while losing 2-0 to the cellar-dwelling Chicago Cubs, and falling back to their well-deserved third place position for the playoffs.

IN ANDERSON: Everybody’s waiting to see if The Forest Hills Urinal will actually be getting around to covering the Historic Township Trustee Race in Wednesday’s print edition. Do you think they’ll mention Republican Endorsed Candidate Andy Pappas’s new video ad ushering in a new chapter in Anderson Leadership?

And Angry Andersonians have nothing to fear when they bring their clothing to Cleaner Concepts at 8314 Beechmont Avenue, since customers can be assured Whacky Jackie O’Brien’s Illegitimate son Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien is NOT dropping off his freshly soiled clothing there because the owner is running against him for Township Trustee. This is the best news yet for those who insist on clean laundry from a clean candidate. Word is O’Brien takes his soiled items to TIDE cleaners down the road on Beechmont Avenue where your clothes are mixed in with everyone else’s, and since you know how those BIG corporate run organizations like to skimp on the chemicals needed to kill all those germs and sperms, you never know once you’ll get your clothes back if you are wearing the aftermath of Kevin’s “happy ending.”

In his “Four top qualities of great political volunteers,” Drew McKissick includes: 1) A commitment to the cause, 2) A willingness to sacrifice, 3) A sense of humility, and 4) A positive attitude. But in Anderson Township, Duffy “The Kevin Slayer” Beischel says it would also include a fifth quality, being willing to sign the Whistleblower Pledge not to masturbate in your car.

WHISTLEBLOWER INTERNS Rachel, Bradley, Ashley, and Hunter say 22 years ago, when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, In Issue# 68 published on September10, 1991 included the following items from Ken CamBoo’s “Bluegrass Holler” column: “Quitters never win,” “Losers never quit,” “Elephants on parade,” and “Trolley Jollies.”

ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders says his office is investigating the story of a woman who visited her son’s house unannounced, knocked on the door, and immediately walked in and was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. “What are you doing?!” the woman asked.

“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in- law answered.
“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.
“Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained.
“It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me”
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.
“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?”

“Thar poor bastard never heard the gunshot,” The Robster explained.

Meanwhile, Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes says her campaign is still whining because McConnell refused to condemn a National Republican Senatorial Committee spokesman’s degrading-and-offensive characterization of her wearing her “love dress.”

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why most people would be tuning in to Barack Obama Warrior President’s Big Speech Tuesday night. “Probably to see if Kerry and Obama had surrendered to Syria yet,” Kane explained.

More Conservative Political Cartoons

OBAMA’S SYRIA STRATEGY HOT LINE

e-mail your clear, unambiguous messages today.

Some Obama-bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama-bashing subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.

WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

Confusing Question of the Day – Obama, Syria, Twerking

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.