Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Happy Hype Day, Everybody!

And all that Hype over Obama’s Historic MLK Moment day when Obama speaks in the same place the civil rights icon stood at the Lincoln Memorial with Obama flags fluttering in the background, as Obama commemorates MLK’s 1963 March on Washington and Obama now tells us all how much Martin Luther King would’ve liked ObamaCare, is now being overshadowed by even more hype about how Barack Insane Obama appears to plan to launch a full-scale bombing campaign against the Syrian government, which will most certainly result in the Jihadist massacre of Syria’s entire Christian population and kick off World War Three as soon as Obama MLK Speech is over. What could possibly go wrong with that?

The Blower remembers in 2007 when Obama said, “The President does not have power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation.” Not only that, The Blower also recalls in 2011 when then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton described Syria’s Assad as a “Reformer.”

MEANWHILE, SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES ARE ALL WAITING TO SEE coverage of all those speeches at Tuesday afternoon’s Statewide Rally to “Pull the Plug on ObamaCare” in front House Speaker John Boehner’s Office in Troy, Ohio (wherever the hell that is). Tea Party Patriots are vowing to rebrand Obama’s healthcare reform law “BoehnerCare” if Boehner doesn’t get behind a Conservative effort to defund the legislation.

“If the Speaker doesn’t use the power of the purse to stop Obamacare, it will forever be known as ‘BoehnerCare.’ If he funds it, he will own it,” said Janet Porter, President of Faith2Action. Other speakers at the Rally include Ken “Buckwheat” Blackwell, former Ohio Secretary of State; Doc Thompson, from The Blaze; Ted Stevenot, President of Ohio Liberty Coalition, an umbrella of Ohio liberty groups; Mark Harrington of Created Equal; Bryan Kemper of Priests for Life; Dr. Joel Brind; J.D. Winteregg of the Ohio Accountability Project; Nathan Mehrens of Americans for Limited Government; Andrew Pappas from Anderson TEA Party, Cincinnati TEA Party, FreedomWorks and endorsed Republican candidate for Anderson Township Trustee; Councilman Bobby Phillips; Shannon Harkemeyer; Sue-Zilla Hardenbergh; Ralph King; TEA Party Leaders Janet (Folger) Porter; Faith2Action’s Bobbi Radeck; Lovely Lori Viars; and Julie Busby; along with Pro-Family leaders Pastors Jonathan Newman, Dick Knodel, Dale Christian and Andy Douglas.

AND IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio Republicans are claiming Dishonest DemocRATs have been covering up their scandal in the Ohio Treasurer’s Office for the past three years. Ohio Republican Party Chairman Matt Borges says new information now shows former D-RAT Treasurer and current State Rep-Tile Kevin Boyce knew about a federal investigation into his office much earlier than he previously acknowledged or indicated to the public and media.
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says after “JayWalking Joe” Deters threw up his hands in disgust and refused to have his Hamilton County Prosecutors Office continue to attempt to defend Dingbat DemocRAT Judge Tracie Hunter’s Judicial Circus, the litigious jurist will now be represented by Firooz Namei, who ran unsuccessfully as a DemocRAT for Hamilton County Common Pleas Court judge in 1992, and The Blower’s Favorite Public Defender, James “The Rock” Bogen, who says, “Why do they assign me tall these pervert cases?”
GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT: Now that John Gilligan is a “Good DemocRAT,” COAST thought we’d remember that time Gilligan’s son-in-law got arrested for stealing COAST’s yard signs against the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools levy. Meanwhile, Charles Foster Kane remembers on Election Night in 1970 when John Gilligan tried to sneak in his secure News Election Service facility at the Convention Center to see how he was doing in his gubernatorial race and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher had him thrown out. “DemocRATS were sneaky bastards, even then,” Kane explained. “And let’s face it, just because he’s dead doesn’t mean he has to stop voting.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1968, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s high-school and college chum Jerry Rubin helped organize that little protest at the DemocRAT National Convention in Chicago. Those were the days!
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Jerry Rubin’s “Don’t trust anyone over thirty.” Other memorable Jerry Rubin quotes include “The backseat produced the sexual revolution” and “The individual who signs the check has the ultimate power.”
MAYORAL MADNESS: Loony Libertarian Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate says today there are only 13 more days to receive invitations from The League of Women Vipers and The Fishwrap to watch Mayoral Debates between Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley and Extremely Liberal DemocRAT Foxy Roxy Qualls after their $400,000 Primary Election on September 10 to Eliminate Competition in November.
WHISTLEBLOWER SUMMER INTERNS Rachel, Bradley, Ashley, and Hunter say 22 years ago, when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, everybody was reading The Whistleblower’s Really Big Story in our August 27, 1991 Edition, when we reported that Judge Thomas Crush had found former Hamilton County Deputy Auditor Mickey Esposito innocent. And in those days, Mickey didn’t even need a real lawyer to prove it. Also in Edition #65, P&G was pounded in the Weekly Limerick Contest and we were advertising Bungy Jumping off the at Suspension Bridge during Riverfest that weekend.

GAY NEWS UPDATE: Our City Hall Snitch says Council Gay Chris Squealback says it’s a good thing “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman and those Homophobes at COAST never got around to using Sections 733.56 to 733.61 of the Ohio Revised Code to sue the City over that $1,218.59 in over-taxed payer money he illegally used for himself and two staffers to attend that Gay Thing at the White House.
IN ANDERSON: Meanwhile in Anderson Township, our Committee to Re-elect the Pervert (CREEP) says they’ve asked Disgraced Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien’s enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal to try to spell Kevin’s name right during the next ten weeks until the November 5 Election, that’s if they ever get around to reporting any political news between now and then. CREEP also requests that the news media withhold any news of Kevin’s impending bankruptcy before the Election and wishes The Blower would stop pointing out how the two endorsed Anderson Township Trustee Candidates (Josh Gerth and Andrew Pappas) have signed The Whistleblower’s Pledge Never Ever to Masturbate in Your Car.
THINGS ARE HOTTER IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: At least that’s what Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo is seeing these days.

Seriously, where other than Boondoggle County can you have a neutered judge defective No-Moore being opposed by a ranting (over event ticket language) landscaper named Dedden don’t call me Bevin, a GOP chief who operates a Catholic church not sanctioned by the Catholic church, and an assistant GOP chief “Phyllis Diller” Sparks, who thinks serving in the Armed Forces means you should not be county commissioner. Talk about chaos at all levels, well here you have it.

Even though The Fishwrap attended the Campbell County GOP picnic, they didn’t seem to report that Bitch McConnell had a tracker all over Bevin. Seems the old Fishwrapper didn’t somehow see the hovering and intrusive kid with the camcorder. Several supporters did and tried to intervene. Party-On Garth even complained to district chair Troy “Don’t Call Me Shelly” Sheldon, but it was to no avail. We are still wondering why Party-On Garth was even in Campbell County or even in public after getting trounced in the district election by Ian “Jethro Tull” Koffler.

More laughable memories being made by the candidate who calls himself “Coach.” He sent an invitation with “grammarical” errors. We would say he could have went to the library to do a spell/grammar check, but then again, he is suing the libraries so maybe he thinks we don’t need them or want them. Pete The Gun Garrett will easily survive this skirmish.

Well we saved the best for last. You have heard us predict that it will hit the fan as a result of the Nolan and Nutsy Odyssey, now it is closer to reality. Word has it, and you once again heard it here first, that Senator “Beanball Jim” Bunning’s daughter Amy is considering a run for circuit court clerk. This position is currently held by Nolan’s daughter. We are guessing that all of the candidates being encouraged by Nutsy and Nolan have caused a point to be proved and with one hell of a candidate. The Blower will call this one another Bunning No-Hitter is she runs. Sources say she has talent, looks, funding ability, and personality. The Campbell County Odyssey twins will never learn, nor will those that follow them down the fool’s path. We have learned that Nutsy works for Massie and we hope the new congressman wakes up before things get really stupid, because you know they will. You have to admit folks, this will be fun to watch.

Also, Grassroots TEA Party leaders throughout Kentucky are unhappy with Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell after his campaign spokeswoman called supporters of his primary opponent “fringe” in a quote to the Washington Post. Many local TEA Party groups are supporting McConnell’s opponent.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the latest comparisons between Nixon and Obama. “Nixon bugged a couple of buildings and got himself impeached,” Kane explained, “while Obama bugged the entire nation and all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters still love him.

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Some over-hyped items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally over-hyped subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.

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PROMOTING OBAMACARE TO YOUNG PEOPLE

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