Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
- Last week we learned Obama Supporters at the IRS are getting $70 Million in bonuses for targeting Conservatives. —Judge Jeanine
- How about when Obama’s IRS sent almost 24,000 refunds worth a combined $46 Million to “Unauthorized” Alien Workers all at the same address In Atlanta? —Whistleblower Rogue IRS Snitch Ferrell Katz
- How about that letter we published from an Obama supporter? It thanked Deidre Shesgreen for her fair-and-balanced coverage of the IRS Scandal, just because Obama loving IRS agents in Cincinnati should be “commended not condemned?” —Feckless Fishwrappers
- It’s really embarrassing when all those other countries that are supposed to be our friends completely ignore our warnings against aiding and abetting the NSA Leaker after we pulled his passport. —John Kerry, Obama’s Best Secretary of State Since Hillary
- Thanks for that big red “reset button” and your increased “flexibility after the election” to symbolize our new cooperative relationship. —Vladimir Putin
Come to think of it, where in the world is The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden? —Carmen Sandiego- Just wait till we start scrutinizing his tax returns. —Obama’s IRS Agents
- Did you ever see what happens when you type in the words “Incompetent Liar?” —Gary the Googler
- Speaking of incompetence, on this date in 1876 Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer had a fatal lapse in judgment when he underestimated the number of Indians on the other side of the hill at the Battle of the Little Big Horn, and also forgot to bring his three Gatling guns because they might’ve slowed down his cavalry. —Hurley the Historian
- That’s why we chose Custer’s: “There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.” —Quote for Today Committee
- Please tell Demagogic DemocRAT Ohio Senate Minority Leader Eric Kearney to apologize for calling Republicans’ proposed $2.6 billion tax cut “un-American.” —Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges
The Senate planned to vote on the Gang of Ocho’s repackaged Amnesty Bill before they read it just so they can find out what’s in the worst piece of legislation in American history, since ObamaCare. — Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose- Regardless of what a comprehensive immigration reform plan promises, voters are less confident than ever that the federal government really would secure the border to prevent future illegal immigration. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
- Luckily, our TEA Party Patriots will make sure the Senate Amnesty Bill will be doomed in the House. —Kentucky U.S. Senator Rand Paul
- If you liked my leadership last week, just watch me lose my legacy on Amnesty. —John MacBoehner, Had a Farm Bill
- Don’t forget all those historic decisions we’ll be handing down this week, especially after we avoided ruling on that big “Affirmative Action” case on Monday. —SCOTUS
- Will borrowing money from the Chinese for Obama’s $100 Million Family Vacation to Africa this week make it the most expensive presidential trip ever? —American Over-Taxed Payers
- Thanks for explaining how to pronounce my name in Monday’s E-dition. —Republican National Committee Chairman Reince (Rhymes with “Heinz”) Priebus
Did anybody watch my show Thursday night when WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham got into a “Bitch-Slapping Contest” and the Bitch won? —Sean Hannity- Was anybody really surprised at our vote to piss away more over-taxed payers’ money on the Trolley Folly? —Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Cincinnati’s Extreme Liberal Rubber Stamp City Clown-cil
- Congratulations. You may be one of the lucky Facebook users whose contact information may have been inadvertently given out. —Your Facebook Team
Does that mean everybody won’t see those incredibly sexy pictures of myself I post? —Clermont Sheriff Tim Rodenberg- It’s only a coincidence that I own the apartment building where Clermont County Communications Director Annette Meagher lives. —Clermont Commissioner “Buffalo Dave” Uibile
- Now that The Fishwrap’s “Politics Extra” has officially announced I’ll become a father in November everybody’s wondering how long it will be before my Re-election Campaign will spin that news into some sort of fundraising plea. —Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup
Did you think our Paddlefest photo of that bloated white bwana cruising down the river to Serpentine Wall with all the power provided by his Pickaninny paddlers was PC enough? —Unfurloughed Fishwrappers- Thanks for keeping all those drunken kayakers off the river last weekend. —Mothers Against Drunk Boaters
- Gay Pride Week got started a little early when Obama officially proclaimed the month of June 2013 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride month, and the Obama campaign will be selling Obama Car Magnets for this weekend’s Gay Pride Parade in Cincinnati. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
- I was really surprised when they asked me to be Grand Marshal of Cincinnati’s Gay Day Parade. —Rob “Fighting for Families” Portman
Can I be in the Gay Pride Parade, too? —The Whistleblower’s Weenie Wagging Hamilton County Elected Official- Will the Reds be in town during Gay Pride Week? Watching them blow saves is fabulous. —Gay Pride Organizers
- Will there be many Gay Pride events for us to cover in Northern Kentucky? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
- “My Old Kentucky Home” still includes “Gay Darkies,” doesn’t it? —Stephen Foster
- What bullpen problems? —Reds Manager Dusty Baker, Now in Third Place
- When’s the anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis? —Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball
When do we get our names and pictures in The Blower? —Whistleblower Summer Interns Rachel, Bradley, Ashley, and Hunter- Why was that guy arrested for waving a Confederate Flag at the Toby Keith concert in New Jersey? Because they lost! —Redneck Republicans
- When did you say Confederate Father’s Day was? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
- Just because they’re not wearing any clothes doesn’t mean they’re not serious about the news. —Porn Inspectors at E Rob Sanders’ Office
- Things haven’t been going too well for Crazy Eric lately. First the Kentucky Supreme Court suspended him a second time, with Ohio no doubt right behind. Now he’s having his Ohio office’s property seized to pay a judgment against him. — That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (Including the Lisa Wells Fan Club)
- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Now I need more donations so I can practice some fearless investigative grassroots journalism. —Ben Swann
Some of Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower ridicules gay bashers to show that intolerance of any kind is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Hairy Homophobe.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Phil Burr-ass.
HAIRY HOMOPHOBES HOT LINE
e-mail your rants and slants today.
Some family values items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally family values subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
Jack Webb Schools Obama on Democracy
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
